Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Long View: A New Year’s Meditation

I’m heading out of town for New Year’s tomorrow morning at an hour that significantly precedes the asscrack of dawn.  We’re going to Maryland to party with the inlaws and introduce Zach to the rest of the family.  It’s a great scene every year, with raucous laughter and good food and drink at all hours of the day and night.  You’d never think such revelry was going on from the looks of the restrained georgian facade of the quiet suburban home where we’ll be staying.  It’s one of those tricks of perception and perspective - where you think you know what you’re getting but you get there and get so much more than you expected.  And with this principle in mind, here’s a few words about the low mountain and the long view:

it was like this when I got here at 01:27 PM
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Saturday, December 24, 2005

Random Holiday Merrymaking

Ho-ho-ho!  E-e-e-rev Chanukah!** I’ve been scouring the alleys and under the cushions of my sofa for a lovely gift for y’all, but all I found were some old cheerios and frankly I already et’em.  So instead of shining you on with nothing, here are a handful of tidbits that remind me, in a roundabout way, of you folks - disparate and unconnected, arising unbidden and unexpected in the course of my daily journeys, but never failing to bring joy to my heart or an inappropriate snigger to my lips.  Thank you, internet people, for enhancing a delightful year that has been too filled with blessings for me to measure them, and for helping me through a year of challenges and losses that were manageable so often because you let me share them with you.  Your friendship and support are priceless to me.  And that’s why you get this cheap-jack gift: notebook gleanings!  These are the dribs and drabs of ideas and comments that I wrote down and never figured out what else to do with.  Don’t read them all in one place.

* Actual sign at the Academy of Science’s temporary aquarium: “INDO-PACIFIC LIONFISH: A legend will soon explain how they are venomous.” Actual animal housed therein: “Encrusting Gorgonian.

* “It’s no big deal.  It’s like the miracle of life: any jerkoff can manage it if you aim him properly.”

* Sign seen in nutritional supplement shop window: “Women’s Health Special: For You, Free Bag.” Yeah, you old freebag, this one’s for you.  Pretty special, eh?

* Sign seen in restaurant window: “Help Wanted.  Experience Waitress.” Yeah, get a job here and see what our waitress learned during her brothelmongering days.  Tips included.

* Query: Why didn’t anyone at the big Commission meeting eat any of the chocolate-covered strawberries?  Was it because they were in a bag that identified them as Keoki’s Surfin’ Ass Dingleberries

* LiveArchive.org.  For all your free live music needs.  Thank me with cds.

* You wanna do a little job for us?  Sign up anonomously with Mobster.com.  We’ll make you an employment offer you can’t refuse. 

* I didn’t want to belive that it was Mt. McKinley.  I guess I was just in Denali. 

* New business in the neighborhood: Dong Dong Preschool - to bring out your little dong’s full potential. 

* I’m telepathetic - able to be lame at great distances.  Similarly, I’m the guy who puts the “random” in “memorandom”

* Engrish, from the Haechandle Company: “Haechandle mean by utility.  Haechandle mean by honesty.  Haechandle with made by good people.” This is their corporate motto; I was led to seek it out by a comment printed on one of their boxes that I saw lying on the ground at my bus stop: “The reliable food of Haechandle.  The good-natured make it.”

I hope all you good-natured people get to make it this festive season.  Meantime, here’s some cute photos to get you started. 

bench made of ancient monestary stones, in GG park:

From the De Young sculpture garden:

From the De Young tower elevator lobby:

From the De Young sculpture garden’s hidden meditation chamber:

Views of the De Young roof from the tower:

View of Kel and Zach in the De Young tower:

Me and Zach on the monestary stone bench:

Zach discovers the miracle of xmas:

That’s all for now.  Time to open some presents for the munchkin.  Have a happy happy, and don’t drink and blog! 

** “Erev” means “evening of/before”, and is the beginning of any jewish holiday.  But you knew that already.

it was like this when I got here at 11:48 PM
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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

beginning the ending

* Stones of Summer: I heard of it though a magazine article about a documentary about hunting down the author, a one-hit wonder whose unremembered masterwork shook some of us to our foundations with its audacity and depth.  Dow Mossman had never been heard from since 1972 till this filmmaker tracked him down, and thus was reborn The Stones of Summer – nearly 700 pages of pure poetry, a Ulysses for the beat generation.

I bought it to read it in Hawaii two summers ago but was having too much fun not reading, so I brought it back home unopened.  I really started in on it in October 2004, and I just finished with it.  Now, I admit that I’m not trained in these matters, I probably don’t know what I’m talking about or what I even missed – but that was one miserable slog of a book.  I mean.  Oy.  It was a Faulknerian journey through the life of a young man, from his beautifully-rendered Midwestern farmtown childhood, through an adolescence full of rage and alienation and iconic characters you can’t quite fully believe in, concluding with a fabulous hebephrenic flameout, our hero having stumbled fatally over the threshold of manhood. 

Here’s the thing, though: it was basically unreadable.  Each page was full of imagery and beauty, but it made no goddamn sense and it didn’t go anywhere.  I’ve read Ulysses, and found it to be endlessly captivating.  Stones of Summer: not so much.  I couldn’t red three pages without falling asleep trying to parse out its symbolism or develop anything like a damn about any of the characters.  But, bless my scrivening soul, I finished it.  And that means I can put it away or get rid of it, retrieve from its turgid pages the cool Turkish bookmark I’ve consigned to it for fifteen months, move on to another book that’s a better place for such a colorful cool memento to reside.  I even have a good rebound novel already lined up.  So there’s something that felt interminable, but wound up, finally, ending – not very satisfactorily, but conclusively.  Endings happen. 

* My Tuesday night yogini missed class again last week.  A staff member came in twenty minutes after we were scheduled to start, to tell us that the teacher had a long-term family-related issue and would not be teaching for three to six months.  That’s a lifetime in yoga class circles (I’ve only been going to her class for about a year).  But she’s gone now and with her, the nighttime sunshine she coaxed weekly from my joints and fingertips.  Ten minutes into my first class with her, I had wanted to slap her – she was just too intense and cheery and personal.  I wasn’t there to learn to laugh or love my classmates – I wanted a good hard stretch and that was all.  Enough, already, with the sound effects and goofball chanting.  That isn’t what yoga is all about.  Ten minutes later, I’d come around 180 degrees – her humor and joy and personal connection with every one of us downing our respective dogs there that night were exactly what yoga was all about; I’d just never experienced it before.  And now I don’t know if I’ll get there again. 

After the staff announcement that class was and would continue to be cancelled, four of us stayed behind in the spacious studio, the lights down very low, listening to sitar music and doing a little freestyle stretching.  But the music made me sad, and the postures seemed forced, constricted, inorganic.  I left with a heavy heart.  Good things end too. 

* I’ve written before about my mickey pen, may its memory be a blessing.  It’s been more than a year that I’ve been without its firm reliability and jaunty wave of greeting.  But lo, just a few weeks ago our clerk went back to the MagiKingdom and brought me back a new mickey mouse pen.  I received it from him with delight, reacquainting myself with its many finely-wrought details – and then I noticed one new one, one which brought even greater joy to my pen-wielding ways: new words had been impressed on the barrel of the pen, next to the word “Disneyland.” The new words appeared in black on a silver background that had jaggedy edges, a text bubble signifying urgent, earthshaking news.  The words themselves read: “Acid Free.”

O limitless blessings of a benevolent universe!  Now I knew for sure – I had it on the unquestionable authority of a tiny plastic mouse: my writing implement was finally free of acid.  Or maybe free from acid.  Perhaps even free on acid, like some Kerouaked-out tripster.  The point is, my pen was even cooler than the old one had been, in that it was Acid Free, whatever that meant.  I wasn’t going to dwell any longer on misbegotten months wasted with my old acidulous and confined pen.  This one was free and inacetic and I was damn glad of it. 

Well, I’m learning that things end. I’ve had the new pen in regular rotation for a couple of weeks now and the new text-bubble with the jaggedy points is already peeling off.  I know that acid freedom is an inherent condition, unaffected by the presence or absence of that little silver sticker – but come on people, it was just so cool.  I really liked that “acid free” tag.  But in another day or so, in an idle moment, I’ll accidentally-on-purpose peel the rest of it away.  Then my acid status – free or otherwise – will be a matter of purely personal knowledge, neither advertised nor promulgated on the barrel of my new, allegedly acid-free mickey mouse pen.  I guess that’ll be okay, though – it will still write a nice clean line for me, labeled or not.  Just because the bonus sticker has peeled away and left me bereft, there’s no reason for me to feel bad. The pen is a good one. All that has ended is the label, and I guess I can inscribe my own remembrances and draw my own conclusions with it regardless. 

Recap: Book – ended.  Yoga classes – ended.  Amusing sticker – ended. I think I’m ready for something to start soon.  Oh, yes, it’s late December.  It’s all starting again, and soon enough.  Maybe it’s just a suggestion from the universe that I needed to clear a little room for the new stuff.

it was like this when I got here at 08:34 AM
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