Tuesday, May 20, 2003
A SEPARATE PIECE Some people
A SEPARATE PIECE
Some people are just getters. Not go-getters, though sometimes they have to work for their prizes. But I really mean people who get things without trying too hard, who are beneficiaries of the general bounty. People who get cars for free, who win concert tickets, who travel on complimentary airplane tickets (upgraded to first class) to gratis hotel rooms they won in a raffle they entered without paying. Sometimes these people are in the right place at the right time and sometimes they are willing to ask for the big favor that shames me into silence. “The Lord helps those that ask for shit.” I’m scraping by, pinching pennies, and someone shows up to flash me the free passes he just scored to the game, assuring me that all the food will be paid for. I don’t much care about the game, but I like free stuff and there’s only so much vicarious appreciation of it that I can take. Sure, sometimes I’ve cashed in some cool gifts and unplanned windfalls, but more often I’m stewing in quiet envy at the material advantages that some other people seem to glean from the very zephyrs of springtime. Let me go on notice: I want my piece of whatever’s up for grabs. If it’s no longer available, I’ll take someone else’s piece. My appetites are boundless.
Are you going to finish that?
I thought you didn’t want any.
I didn’t know you were going to make it like that.
Like what?
So nice.
It’s just a sandwich. I could have made you one. I offered.
I thought it was going to be like my sandwiches. Mine don’t come out so nicely.
What are you talking about?
Is that mustard? And you cut on the diagonal....
Food tastes better on a diagonal.
I’ll bet.
Well I am going to finish this.
You don’t need any help?
No. Looks like you missed the sandwich bus.
Okay. So, um, are you planning on making another one anytime soon?
