Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore
I don’t often get particularly interesting spam but this email captured my interest. For $30 plus shipping and handling I can buy an acre on the MOON? “The Lunar Embassy has been selling land on the Moon for the past 22 years. They are the THE ONLY COMPANY in the world to possess a legal basis and copyright for the sale of lunar, and other extraterrestrial property within the confines of our solar system. LunarLandRush.com is an authorized agent of the Lunar Embassy.” And on they go, freely referencing how many ex-Presidents, NASA officials, and actors from various Star Trek series have ponied up and gotten their piece of the lunar action. How could I go wrong?
Well, in a couple ways, I guess. First, even though the Lunar Embassy claims to be the “only company in the world” to have the right to make these sales, we’re already breaching terrestrial bounds here - how do I know that there aren’t beings on other planets or moons already buying up parcels on the ol’ skycheese? It’s not like they’ll be checking with the Centaureans to make sure there’s no conflict in the title records, and I sure don’t want to be stuck in deed priority litigation with some freaky tentacled alien - especially not one from space.
Second, I am not clear what copyright has to do with real property sales. That’s for intellectual property. Unless the moon is a figment of my feverish imagination, the reference to copyright raises troubling issues. You shouldn’t bring it up if it’s not relevant, and I can’t see how it is relevant, so I wish no one had mentioned it. Don’t confuse me with technicalities when I’m buying extraterrestrial acreage.
But the biggest problem here is the selling price. Thirty dollars is not an excessive investment - I can see how that might be absorbed, even amortized over a relatively short period of time (geologically speaking). But they tacked on three extra words that should cool even the hottest-blooded lunatic - “shipping and handling.” What do you think S&H will run on a package being sent from the “Lunar Embassy?” It costs billions to send a shuttle from the moon to hereabouts; the packaging alone will probably cost a fortune. I’m not ready to make any purchase where the incidental costs run so steeply.
This whole idea is making me nervous. But at least the guys from STNG have their own place to party up in the sky - and they’ll be able to pick up the documents right there on the lunar surface and save the shipping and handling charges. Man, those guys get all the luck. I mean, except for those dorky outfits they wear. Those jumpsuits? No wonder they want to buy the moon. They can’t flash their own.
