Tuesday, June 01, 2004
All that Glitters
What do you want to see when you come back to the office after a lovely, relaxing vacation that hit you like a freight train loaded to the gunwales with wine and pork? I know that my return to the seat of power today was profoundly influenced when I came around the corner of my building to see a woman of indeterminate age, visibly relieved, just standing up and hiking her jeans back into place; a glistening puddle ran down the lower portion of our brickwork behind her and spread cheerfully across the concrete around her shoes. I wish I could feel happy for her, for having expressed herself politically and biologically at the same time, thus making a powerful statement about personal freedom and governmental intrusion into one’s private affairs. But really, I’m stuck thinking that I’ve spend the whole day working in this woman’s toilet. It’s one thing to see one’s office that way metaphorically, but to view the physical evidence with my own eyes as I come in for my first day of work after a nice long weekend… well, it’s pissed me off. Lady, there are bushes and vacant lots and coffeehouses and alleys all around here. Couldn’t you have found anyplace more appropriate to void your bladder than the coping stones of the State Bar of California? Couldn’t you tell this was an imminent occurrance while you still had the chance to make a better choice of facility? Why did you have to piddle on my office? Now I’m going to expect to see her every time I come around that corner. I’ll call it “Tinkletown.” That’ll make it easier for me to avoid. But harder to repress. There’s no winning this one.
