Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Blame the Name

Who says nothing fun happens in Ohio?  Dayton, home of aviation and pneumatic tires, is also home of the Dayton News, which is running a story I’m not bothering linking to but: it’s the heartwarming story of a principal and teacher’s aide getting caught at 7:30 am doing some extracurriculars while in a stationary vehicle at the local park.  The region where the incident took place is called Xenia Township - emphasis on the “X.” The specific area where the infraction occurred was Pierce Park, and the individuals involved are now on administrative leave from their jobs at the Beavercreek Falls school district.  Only in the heartland, people, can we get so many entertainingly euphemistic names in one story.  And that ought to do it for me today.  One more big meeting today but this one is at home.  Wish me luck and I’ll be back with more of that great chucklehut irreverence soon enough, goddamn it.

that was laugh-out-loud funny. it’s almost discouraging trying to write entertaining fiction when true life is so much more imaginative.

ok.  it was funny.  but i want to know who exactly said that nothing fun happens in ohio?  names.  i want names.

it was me.  Okay?  Me.  And I said it facetiously.  I should have said that nothing fun happens in the Dayton-Toledo corridor.  I hope that narrows it down sufficiently.

I’ll accept that nothing fun happens in the Dayton-Toledo corridor. But I have proof that the occasional fun thing happens in the central part of the state.

As for euphemistic names, with your Pennsylvania connection I’m sure you’ve heard of the Lancaster County boroughs of Paradise, Bird-in-Hand and Intercourse. I swear to God they are real, live towns.

This relates more better to Sunday’s post, but I just have to share. Was talking to a potential client yesterday, and I asked him where in Oregon he was located. BuckFork. I think my reaction may have lost me that account. Ah well.