Friday, June 20, 2003

CALL ME NICK Over the

CALL ME NICK

Over the past few years I’ve had a few nicknames thrown at me.  Mostly it’s “Dan the Man,” which (as I think I’ve said here before) never seemed to fit me very well, but I take it as a compliment.  More fitting, or at least more comfortable to me, were Dynamite Dan, Dangerous Dan, and - my personal favorite - Handsome Dan, from a siren beauty who shall HelenJane remain nameless.  And, since I’m anything but dangerous or dynamite, I don’t put much stock in the accuracy of “handsome” either - but it’s nice to hear it anyway.

It’s occurred to me that I may be one of those people who doesn’t really take on nicknames very well.  My own name is probably the most accurate and effective way to call me out.  But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  In particular, there are a lot of nicknames I don’t think I’d like very much - either because they’d make me feel silly or because they are misleading. 

As I’ve been at a very important conference to which I have made innumerable invaluable contributions all day long for two days straight, I now find myself in possession of a notebook with nothing in it but the following LIST OF NICKNAMES I WILL NEVER HAVE FOR BETTER OR WORSE (broken down by general category):

* Creatures: Gato, Monster, Starfish
* Celebrities: Boba, Amazing Mr. Limpet, Tinkerbell
* Plants: Snapdragon, Periwinkle, Lodgepole
* Foods: Pickles, Peaches, Walnuts
* Bodily references: Cheeks, Three-fingers, Dan-the-Tan
* Professions/Descriptives: Invader, Cowboy, Slick
* Tools/Products: Studfinder, Velcro, Ace

I will thank you in advance for avoiding these appellations when referring to me, at least in my presence.  If you insist on giving me a nickname, everything else is fair game.  I only ask that you be gentle.  My walnuts have taken an awful beating already.