Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Candy: How to Make; How to Ridicule
So I find myself with a few minutes to spare because of a computer problem, so in honor of the candied pumpkin I made over the weekend, here is a list of candies that only became popular once their original names were spoonerized:
* Me Thruskateers
* Bummy Gears
* Rabie Booth
* Cursies Hisses
* Jalmond Oy
Okay okay candied pumpkin: get a good “sugar (eatin’) pumpkin,” cut it into candy-sized pieces (actually sort of fun, rather good therapy), all cleaned up nice with the skin peeled off (that part’s sort of a pain). Soak it overnight in water with lime juice added – 1 tablespoon lime to a quart of water, then drain and rinse three times in cold water. I know, three times, what the hell. Be thankful there’s no incantations. I’d do whatever it took to make this candy again. Put it in a pot with warm water and bring it to a boil for five minutes. Drain, let cool, and pierce each piece to ensure that it soaks up plenty of sugar (I used a fork through the wide side because that is my style). Put it in a pot with an equal-amount-by-weight of sugar (and this is where I’d add some bourbon and dried powdered ginger, but that’s just me) and bake for three hours or so, till crystallized. Yes, crystallized. You wind up with clear chunks of something more like jello than pumpkin. Spoon out the candy with a slotted spoon and let it cool on wax paper or parchment paper, and then wrap up the pieces individually with wax paper, plastic wrap, or the non-adhesive material of your choice, taking into account that this stuff is mainly pure sugar now. Store in an air-tight container that is easily opened, because you will want to eat lots of it.
Now g’wan with your consarned selves!
