Saturday, August 25, 2007
Crispy Ham Sandwiches: The PowerSnak
The sandwich, like the salad, does not get the credit it deserves. Everybody thinks they can make a decent sandwich, just like everybody thinks they’re inherently smarter and more interesting than average. Salad? Piece of cake, as it were – who can’t make a salad? Much more challenging it might be to find someone who can make one well, but that’s an issue that is usually left unexplored…
And similarly, sandwiches are everybody’s stock in trade; every shmo, shmendrik and shiksa with a cutting board thinks they can sandwich it up with the best of the best, even if they never think to pre-toast or to press-n-twist or any of the basic manipulations that can make a sandwich really stand out. There’s a lot more to it than just getting the mustard to the edge of the bread. It’s something between skill and art – a skart, if you will. You will, won’t you? Won’t you? You won’t? Really?
Let me help you out, because you’re clearly foundering in a confused morass of self-doubt and disbelief. Next time it’s your turn to sandwich up the hungry hungry hippos in your neck of the wallow, why don’t you just freaking BLOW THEM AWAY with a sandwich like they’ve NEVER HAD BEFORE! Yeah! Come on, any sandwich that calls for two ALL-CAPS!!! phrases in a single sentence has got to be pretty good! You’ll love it. I know you’ll love it. C’mon, just try it. We’ll have unimaginable kinds of good clean sandwichy fun here in my cargo van of culinary exploration that is the Recipe Corner. And our first stop: Ham and Cheese Sandwiches!
Yup, I invented these. And now you’re thinking, hey, didn’t I have a sandwich once that had, like, ham on it? And then, next to that ham, that cheesy stuff, that was cheese, right? With that, that, the bread on the top and the bottom of the whole thing, wasn’t that a ham and cheese sandwich? So, what exactly is Chuckles claiming to have invented, now? The CHUTZPAH sandwich, was it?
No, my friends, no, no, I superciliously murmur, calming your rages with imperturbable calmness as a mountain lake calms the eagle’s questing soul, assuming that it does so, which totally seems reasonable to me really. Anyway, I invented these ham-and-cheese sandwiches, and I think you’ll find them unlike any other you’ve had afore.
These turned out to be kind of light, so I’d do up two or three per person. They go like this: take a whole wheat pita and brush/smear one side with olive oil. If you can tell which side was on the outside when it was baked, use that side. Lay the pita oiled side down.
Imagine a line cutting the circle of the pita in two; on one side of that line, spread mustard if you wish (I didn’t) and then layer on some thin-sliced ham – we used a stack of two round slices folded in half, covering one-half of the pita nicely.
On the other side, put down some thin slices of white cheese (we used jack because we had jack, but I bet havarti or gouda would be great) and then a thin slice of cantaloupe on top of that. Yes! Cantaloupe! Didn’t see that coming, did ya? This here’s a fruit and meat sandwich, and that’s where you really score the big sandwich points! It’s like a triple word score with zs and qs in scrabble or something! YOU ROCK!
So, you’ve got this interesting bifurcated sandwich on openfaced oiled pita, and then you put it on a grill or griddle at medium heat. You want to toast the bottom of the pita while the heat warms up the ham and melts the cheese a little. But nothing should burn. For gods sake, nothing should burn.
Once the cheese has gone runny and the melon is stuck in it nicely, and the ham is warmed up from beneath, use a spatula to transfer the whole flat pita to a cutting board. Then use a pizza slicer or a large knife to score through the midline of the pita between the two halves of your sandwich. Lay some fresh baby spinach leaves (remove long stems) atop the ham – 8 or 10 leaves per sandwich – and then flip the melon-and-cheese half over onto the ham and spinach half. Serve immediately, with napkins (the bread stays somewhat oily, but that’s all part of the fun, of course.) Once you give someone a sandwich like this, they’ll be in your debt for the rest of their lives. Crispy ham turnover sandwiches: the powersnack. And by the way, you owe me.
