Tuesday, December 02, 2003
EAT HEARTY: Cookies of the Gods, and an Improvement Thereon
Contents: 
Smoked Trout; Smoked Turkey; Roast Turkey; Stuffing; Green Been Casserole; Beets; Italian Meatballs; Knish; Mashed Potatoes; Gravy; Sweet Roasted Winter Roots (Tsimmis); special Sausage from NYC; Susan Stanberg’s Cranberry Relish; miscellaneous unidentified comestibles. Arranged and modeled by Chuckles, in his partyparty shirt with a nice glass of kick-ass shiraz.
RECIPE CORNER: I’ve been getting a few requests for my cookie recipe. FAR BE IT FROM ME to deny the public what it wants; hence the Schwartzenegger governorship and the popularity of QVC. Maybe I can even things out and give you something worth having this time. And that, my friend, is a cookie that will lay you out and leave you shuddering with cocoa-enhanced joy. Come, read with me, and discover the desserts of legends:
COOKIES OF THE GODS and the TEARS OF HEAVEN
CsOTG are so big, if you fly sufficiently low over them, you can see rudimentary airstrips and landing beacons! I used to think that I named these cookies; mom says Evi came up with the name, and Evi says her friend from school invented the moniker. I’m outraged at being denied nominal paternity but I have a big heart. Well, enlarged, but if the doctor’s don’t quibble, why should I? These were the cookies worth having when I was growing up, and remain so to this day - except that I’ve put a twist on the recipe and thereby justify my renaming these THE TEARS OF HEAVEN: cookies so tasty you’ll have to find new words to describe them.
In a nice big bowl, cream (mix till totally blended and soft):
* 1 cup solid shortening (ie crisco - not lard)
* 1/2 cup butter (softened - make it easy on yerself)
* 1-1/3 cup granulated sugar
* 1 cup packed brown sugar
Then beat in, one at a time:
* 4 eggs
Then add, beating well after each addition:
* 1 Tablespoon vanilla
* 1 teaspoon lemon juice
In a separate bowl, stir together:
* 2 teaspoons baking soda
* 1-1/2 teaspoons salt
* 1 teaspoon cinnamon
* 1/2 cup oatmeal
* 3 cups flour
Beat the dry ingredients into the creamed mixture until well-combined; then add:
* 2 pkgs of chocolate chips
* 2 cups crushed nuts (yow) (I used half hazelnuts and half almonds in this year’s batch and that was a good combo; pecans are the traditional choice here)
Use a scant 1/4 cup of dough for each cookie, and place the doughllops about 3 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 16-18 minutes (don’t overcook!) and let them cool a little.
Up till now these have been 100% “COTG” cookies. Now we can start to explore the new frontiers of “Tears of Heaven”: Cut the cookies into quarters while they’re still warm. Melt a bag of chocolate chips (i recommend semisweet) by putting them in a bowl over boiling water. Use a spoon to smear a wad of melted chocolate on each 1/4 cookie, starting at the “corner” where you cut it and covering about half the surface of the cookie. Allow to cool and dry, and then hide them so you can enjoy them at your leisure. (FWIW, the dough is also among the finest gourmet treats ever to raise the spectre of salmonella. Ignore the spectre - the dough is so worth it.)
I hope this satisfies each and every one of you to the very reaches of your sugar-lovin’ souls. If there are any among you who require further satisfactions, I think you’re going to have to look beyond this blog for it. There’s only so much a website can do.
