Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Exit Interview
Her office is next to the corner. Her desk is broad and glossy; the view out her windows is unobstructed. He knocks on the open door with practiced tentativeness.
Good afternoon Ms. Lloyd; do you have a moment?
I do. Come in, close the door and have a seat. What’s on your mind?
My name is ~. I’ve been temping here for two months, over in billing. Joyce’s department.
Yes.
Um. Anyway, today is my last day here - I’m going to grad school in England next month.
Congratulations.
Oh well, thanks. I’m very excited about it. I leave in two weeks and I don’t know if I’ll ever be back.
So, you wanted to talk about grad school?
Right, no. I wanted to take a few minutes of your time today if I could, to share some information with you. Hmm. It’s a bit difficult for me to just say it to you, but it’s like this: I’ve been working at a cube in billing over next to Debbie. I, um, I wasn’t sure if you’d even seen me there.
Yes, I saw you. But please - do go on.
Okay, thanks. Thanks very much. Okay. Well, here’s the thing: I haven’t told this to anyone before - not about this, not about anything, ever. But since this is my last day here, my last ninety minutes actually, I figured that I’d better say something now if I was ever going to say anything. I know that if I didn’t come clean I’d probably regret it for a very long time. So, okay: I’ve worked in a lot of offices, both staffing and temping. I’ve had a lot of bosses and coworkers and I’ve met a lot of random people at a lot of companies. Plus I’ve been through four years of college, a bunch of volunteer gigs, lots of stuff. I’ve met a lot of people, from all walks of life, in all kinds of situations. But - please excuse me for being blunt, I don’t think I can talk around this anymore - I have never in my life encountered a person like you, Ms. Lloyd. I mean, a person who affects me the way you do.
Oh?
Maybe I should try to be more explicit.
Please.
Okay. Okay. On my first day here I was at my desk reading the Procedures Manual when I saw you for the first time - but even before that, I felt you. I was reading about requisition vouchers and I suddenly felt a flush, like I’d just had a tumbler full of tequila. I remember it so clearly: I put my palms on the desk and asked myself, what’s happening? It felt - I don’t know how else to put this - it felt like I was dropping into pleasure. Plummeting into it. But I had no idea why. Two seconds later you walked past. If I hadn’t sat up just when I did I’d have missed you altogether. I could only see you for a moment as you moved down the hall. You wore a blue suit, white pumps, white stockings. All the breath went out of my body and I ... um ... I became instantly and enormously aroused. Physically, I mean. And emotionally, too, of course. That one glance at you completely knocked me out. I feel I have to tell you, I have no precedent for this. I’ve been on my own for eight years, and there have been some ups and downs in my love life, like anybody’s, I guess, but I’ve never in my life been so completely blown away by a woman like this. For me, attraction has always been only incidentally physical - I’ve always been more attracted to people than to bodies. But something about you, Ms. Lloyd, something about you got right to me and I have got to be honest with you - I never got over it and I’ve never wanted to. I have gotten significant pleasure and gratification out of just appreciating you from my little cubby. But I’ve really tried to keep it to myself. I’ve done my utmost to suppress my feelings and to behave toward you and every member of your team with courtesy and respect. I wanted to do a good job for you. But I can remember every interaction and encounter I’ve had with you since that first day, every detail, down to what I was thinking, the thoughts swimming in my head.... I really hope I didn’t let that show on my face but I wanted to apologize to you personally for any disrespect or inattentiveness that my infatuation entailed. If I let you down at any time, I sincerely apologize.
Hm. Apology accepted.
Okay. Um, I also wanted you to have this - I’ll leave it here on your desk, you can take it or throw it away as you wish… it’s my cell number. I don’t have any set schedule for the next two weeks, all my stuff’s been packed and shipped, I’m in a hotel five blocks from here and I come and go as I please. After I’m done with this job in an hour, I will have a lot of time on my hands. I’m just saying - you should feel free to give me a call anytime. I mean anytime, day or night, whenever the mood strikes you, to get a cup of coffee or some ice cream or a lifechanging session of superheated passion that’s blowing like a volcano out of my soul, or anything like that, you should just dial that number. I hope you understand that, for the next two weeks, I have no other purpose in life but to answer your call. And if you choose not to call me, then let me just say that it has been an absolute privilege, the most amazing privilege of my life, to have worked where where you work. You are really something else.
Do you have that phone?
Yes, I keep it with me all the time.
Let me see it. Hand it to me.
Oh. Okay. Here.
It’s rather clunky. Outdated.
I figured, why replace it, I’m leaving so soon....
Take this one instead.
...I don’t understand.
Then listen more carefully. Take my cell phone. I will call you on it at seven o’clock tonight.
Why are you doing this?
Are you willing to give me your phone?
Absolutely. What’s mine is yours. Until I leave the country.
Then stop asking questions. I’ll call you at seven and I’ll tell you where to meet me. Okay?
Okay.
Good. I’m glad you came in for this little chat, ~. Now get out of here immediately, before I rip the clothes off your body. Go to your room, get yourself ready for me, and wait for my call. And make sure you have plenty of ice on hand. Yes, lots of ice. And extra towels.
