Tuesday, December 03, 2002

Far be it from me

Far be it from me to halt the progress of byte-munching data proliferating the ethernet worldwide… I got this in an email this morning and found it sufficiently amusing and useful to pass it forward to the cosmos at large - because the Washington Post, where it was apparently first shown, clearly won’t reach the cosmopolitan and farflung audience of the Chucklehut:

Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1.Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2.Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3.Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
4.Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5.Cashtration (n.): The act of buying something expensive, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7.Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
8.Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9.Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10.Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
11.Decaflon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
12.Glibido: All talk and no action.
13.Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
14.Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15.Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
My personal favorite from those I’ve seen:
16.Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid AND an asshole.

Got any words that need to be made part of the language?  Post them here!