Tuesday, December 07, 2004
fragment
A few weeks ago pea posted a little piece of fiction that got me thinking about a lot of things, one of which was: I have not written much fiction lately. As I thought about this on my daily busride to work, a scene formed in my mind - or, not even a scene, but a part of a scene, a moment, a bit of a story the beginning and end of which I did not know. But this moment revealed itself to me clearly enough that I was able to write it down. And now that that is done, maybe I can move on to bigger, better fantasies and fictions. But in the meantime, it does feel good to write about somebody else for a change. Even if that somebody else isn’t having much fun with it.
*****
The excruciating thing was how everybody just sat there watching her. All her coworkers, and the other people in the restaurant; the guy from the radio station, the social worker (redfaced and perspiring), everybody. They pretended to look at their plates, or their laps, or to stare at their wristwatches or into their purses… but always stealing glances at her, their attention focused on her with surreptitious obviousness. The place was deathly silent; all you could hear was her choking back her tears and gasping on her own breath, and the vacant sound of no one going to comfort or support her. No one made any move at all. It was as if something had happened, not just to her, but of her - something that rendered her, if not invisible, then certainly so regressive, so wrong and ruined, such a turd in the soup that no one would even seriously consider being soiled by proximity to her. Seats shifted uncomfortably, whispered comments scurried on ratpaws around the room. Plates and pans clanked back in the kitchen. As she finally pushed away her chair and walked out across the hardwood floor, scattering the paltry confetti and balloons with which her place had been desultorily decorated, every sound she made echoed in the silence - especialy her ragged, gulping breath. She left in utter, unredeemed solitude, more alone with every step she took. And everybody just sat there watching her, until she was completely gone.
