Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Freedom To Lounge; Plus The Women Who Want Me
Over the past four days, I’ve had three point five off work. I’ve shared a few crumbs of my delightful life with you already, but there’s a lot I left out. Just to pique your envy, here’s a few other experiences I experienced in the last 96 hours (keeping in mind that I had to work a half-day on monday):
* Discovery Museum with the curious, strongwalking Zach
* Conservatory of Flowers with the whole fam-damily (plus butterfly exhibit and running into friends there)
* Fort Funston family cliffside walk, complete with hang gliders
* World Cup Soccer (TiVo recorded 90 minutes of regulation time but did not record the 30 minutes of overtime, in the 29th minute of which Italy reportedly scored twice against Germany in the Axis Powers Bowl)
* Pizza supper with the family at Orgasmica, dining on their indulgent oriental floorcushions with multiple pints of excellent homebrewed beer
* Delicious Independence Day Elk Sausages with sweet potato fritters
* Tasty Thai take-out supper shared with young son, who seems already to have a deep appreciation for yellow curry potatoes (sad sidelight: restaurants that have closed in my ‘hood include the second-closest and truly excellent Thai place, the closest pho place, and the viet-sandwich-and-french-dessert place next to Buffalo Burger)
* Ranma installation - it looks better than I’d even expected, and I had high hopes
* Fun email from my mom who’s singing in churches in Italy
* New Venture Brothers episode, and a damn good one too
* Loading another hour’s worth of family video into the CPU for impending assembly into a video CD for the gramparents
* Running before dawn in the dark park
* Two weird vivid dreams that I can still remember pretty clearly
* Cooking fresh fava beans properly and loving them
Now that’s a pretty full few days, and I didn’t even include the manifold household maintenance issues or my naps or certain other recreations. Because I’m a man of goddamn mystery, that’s why. Now eat your favas and shuddup about it already.
But you remain unsatisfied. I didn’t post any photos of the mounted ranma, nor of the stroll on the cliffs; there are no links to the museum or the conservatory or Pizza Orgasmica ("we never fake it"); and you know you’ll never get any of those fabulous elk sausages. What a ripoff. Well, I can’t stand to leave you grousing like so many preschoolers locked in the cloakroom over the long holiday weekend. Let me rephrase that: I can stand leaving you, but I can’t stand the grousing. I don’t even particularly like grice, and they can’t help it. But you whiners have got no excuse. However, I know better than to think I can shut you up just by asking Tinkerbell to smack you one, so: Here’s another list that might leave you less curious, or at least, less curious with questions that can profitably be directed to me:
I have a small handful of email accounts. One was, for years, my primary account, but now is mainly used for signing up with various on-line marketers and retailers, for getting emails from my extended family (who can’t be bothered to update my entry in their address books), and for receiving spam. Lately a lot of my spam has concerned provocatively-described females being made available for my delectation. I delete these messages without reading them and block the senders, since I figure any woman who finds her men through unsolicited emails may not really be a good match for me. I suppose most people dump these emails unread, as I do. That may be why the marketers are resorting to increasingly creative adjectival usage in their attempts to get me to check out the goods. In one recent day, these are the adjectives that were used in the “re:” lines of my spam to describe the “girls” or “women” being offered up to me to elicit my functions for various ilicit functions:
* Beauteous
* Enchanting
* Youngest Enchanting
* Youngest Delightful
* Charming
* Ravishing
* Russian Adorable
* Lovely
* Esthetical
* Aesthetical
* Killing
* Brilliant
* Bonny
* Comely
Far be it from me to be a Bonny Comelyately, but I shudder to think what a man looking for a “killing” girlfriend actually has in mind. I’m going to stick with using the ubernet just for making my Nigerian pipeline investments and buying my cheapp rx droogs. I’ll hone my aesthetics on my own time. I’m brilliant that way.
