Thursday, June 12, 2003

* I’m sorry. * Thanks,

* I’m sorry.
* Thanks, I guess.
* Well you don’t have to be nasty about it.
* What are you talking about?
* I say “I’m sorry.” You say “that’s okay.” We put this behind us and we go on with life. 
* Is that so?
* Yes, it is.  So where’s your “that’s okay?”
* I’m not okay.  Okay?  You screwed up.  I’m disappointed and frustrated and mad.  But I’m not taking it out on you.  I’m just trying to get past the fury I’m feeling.  Then you just say “I’m sorry” because you feel bad that I feel bad.  Great.  You get to feel better that way.  But I’m still here, right?  I’m still pissed off.  I’m still sad and I still have some serious questions.  You being sorry doesn’t answer those questions.  You being sorry doesn’t make me feel better.  So why should I tell you “it’s okay”?  Because it’s not.  It’s going pretty lousy.
* Well Jesus you don’t have to jump down my throat.  I’m just trying to patch things up.  This situation may be a wreck but we can treat each other civilly.
* You want me to treat you civilly?  What do you mean by that?
* What do I mean?  .... With respect. Not needlessly hurtful.  With room to appreciate personal tastes and strengths and weaknesses.  With an allowance for being human.  And all these things - they have to be okay.  That’s being civil.
* So it can be okay if you space out and blow me off and everything is ruined.  That’s okay, because it’s part of your special unique quality, and I need to be okay with that and not make you feel bad because of it.  Am I getting it right?
* Yeah.
* And when this happens, and my plans that I’ve been pouring myself into, that I’ve really put a lot of effort into, when all that goes in the crapper because you weren’t paying attention, is it okay for me to feel bad?
* I don’t know.  I guess, as long as you didn’t make me feel bad about it too.  I would be cool with that.
* So I can feel bad, as long as I don’t impose it on you.
* Yeah.
* So when you say ‘you’re sorry,’ I’m over here feeling bad.  You get it?  You see why I don’t want to say “it’s okay” right now?
* No - because that makes me feel bad.
* Well I’m sorry about that.
* That’s okay.
* Damn right it is.