Wednesday, February 05, 2003

IMPROVE YOURSELF So: Hi, thanks

IMPROVE YOURSELF

So: Hi, thanks for - you know, thanks, and before we get any further, are there any questions?  no, okay that’s great, and the sound’s okay?  If you’re having trouble hearing me, will you just - what’s that sir, can you - am I?  No this is - that’s right - just down the hall there - and this is probably a good time to see if anybody else came here for - no this is - yes, you should follow that other fellow and go two doors past him -

So: as I was saying, there’s nothing more satisfying than a boiled radish - no that’s noT right, I need to check my - oh yes, the handouts, the handouts are at the back of the room, each of you will please take one and pass the rest ahead - so I’m sure you’re all wondering, What’s in this for you, time is money and all that, and right you are, so let’s leap right in and get started. 

Yes, when the papers get to the end of a row just pass them over to the next row and send them back down.  Perfect. 

So.  There are five keys to omnipotence, and they dangle within your grasp.  First, we need to get the lights and - hello, yes, you?  Thanks, yes, could you just - yes - that’s great - no too dark, go back to that last one - yes very good, and now - oh this isn’t an overhead projector - yes I see - no I don’t have it like that, these are transparancies - yes like a movie - no of course they don’t - look I need an overhead projector or nobody’s going to be able to follow this -

Okay, can we get the lights back up?  They’re going to get me an overhead projector and then we’ll get back into omnipotence.  Is anybody going out to get coffee?  Can you get me one?  Hello?