Thursday, September 12, 2002

it was easy enough at

it was easy enough at the outset - it didn’t even seem like i was doing anything.  i looked aloft and rambled, expounded, chatted, breathed… it came so naturally i should have known something was amiss.  by the time i noticed what was happening, i had trouble seeing where i was.  a persona had been superimposed on me which i found flattering; i wanted to give it life as if it were true.  as easily done as said - that was my undoing.  those easy words, that glib facility - when it came time to live up to them, i foundered.  my persona was much more than i could hope to be.  my upholstered phrases concealed snares and barbs, for which i was both bait and quarry. 

eventually i had to be myself.  gorgeous constructs collapsed around me, sowing disappointment and bitterness.  in the end the words consumed themselves, and i was left with only punctuation, hiding in a semicolon, escaping on ellipsises....... broken letters stained my feet and teeth and i could but apologize in mime.