Saturday, February 22, 2003

I’ve been inspired by Matt’s

I’ve been inspired by Matt’s recent efforts to update hoary adages by changing one word.  I’m not sure why he’s identified as a “monkey boy” but that seems to be the way things are, and he took phrases we all know that feature the word “money" and switched in the word “monkey.” That started me thinking.  (Previously, my brain was mostly used as a paperweight.) I don’t have any fun nicknames but there are a few phrases that I’ve always thought would go better if they were changed just a little, mostly by deleting a syllable or two.  I thought I had a whole passel of these but, sitting here, I’ve only come up with five (four really, plus one that I just always thought was not being properly used in its most amusing way).  Having exhausted my creative capacities on this score, I warmly invite anyone who wanders over here to add to this LIST OF IMPROVED ADAGES:

*Like a hot knife through butt
*Like a dog in a mange
*Prosecutors will be violated (as an attorney I always cherished the mental image of some uptight DA bent double over the bar and being forced to “take gavel")
* A spoonful of sugar helps me go down
-- and finally, though this is the actual phrase, I would prefer to use it other than as it has been traditionally implemented:
* Void where prohibited.  (This one reminds me of the time a guy almost took my head off with nunchuks for wandering into his driveway to relieve myself.)

There have to be more.  I just can’t think of them right now.