Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Last Word from the Foam Foot

Tonight’s the last of my three voice-acting seminars.  Parts one and two were a lot of fun, I hope that I get a chance to do more of this kind of work at some point.  But for tonight, we got a special assignment: we were to bring to class, in an opaque bag, something that might be found discarded - on a trashcan or at the gutter - anything that is headed for the dump.  We also were to write a 30 to 60 second monologue for that item in which the item exhorts the listener to rescue it from the traditional fate of refuse. 

I selected an item that I actually found on the street and brought home with me a few years ago - a foam-rubber foot, basically anatomically correct (so far as those things go).  And, since I have a bunch of other stuff to deal with this morning, here’s the Last Word from the Foam Foot:

Hey Twinkletoes!  Yeah, you!  Where ya high-stepping so fast?  Hold up a second, will ya?  I’ve got something for ya.  ME!  Can ya believe the luck?  There I was, just doing my bit to toe the line, and some heel kicks me to the curb.  Well, I’ve been around the block, I know life’s not fair sometimes - but his loss is your gain, buddy!  If you’re twelve inches short of a yard, I’m exactly what you need!  Stub your toe?  I’ve got five spares!  I’ll walk the walk while you talk the talk.  And if ya say the wrong thing, I fit right in your mouth and you won’t lose a step!  I understand you.  I can walk a mile in your shoes.  Give me a leg up and I’ll stand by you through thick and thin.  You can’t buy that kind of friendship.  But you can get it for free if you just pick me up.  So whaddaya say, ol’ buddy?  Take me with ya and you’ll never regret it.  Don’t leave me here.  Can’t you feel it?  We’re solemates!

Dude, I would SO have to pick up that foot.

good thing you didn’t get rid of it when you were doing all of that “getting rid of stuff” stuff.

I’ve had to rescue that foot (and my rusty old can of “dehydrated water") from maurading housecleaning sprites more than once.  But it wouldn’t feel like home without either of them.  See, I can leave the shattered mirrors lying in the street, but I do have my limits.  Some stuff comes back home with me in spite of myself.

First, as discussed, lay off the coffee for a while. 

Second, five toes?

That’s awesome!

Solemates? Dude, you know I’m an incorrigible punster. So why do you keep incorriging me?

I would have picked that foot up too, AND painted it’s toe nails!

Even more hilarious than one of our more amusing parlimentarians at work who made a similar speech during a late night debate on a Bill regading podiatrists…

incorrigible

I think we’re solemates… so much fun.. I want to bring you home with me..  it would be nice to have a leg up with something that fits right in your mouth.

You can’t buy that kind of friendship.. but you can have it for free… so winter spring summer or fall.. all you gotta do is call… and I’ll’ be there oh yes I will… you got a friend… that you don’t even know.

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Oops I did it again! - Brittney Spears TGP thumbnail gallery we live together welivetogether little trouble maker joey jenna big naturals in the vip latina hardcore movies solo video girl