Friday, June 06, 2003

LITTLE HELP? I found a

LITTLE HELP?

I found a new buddy on my way to work today; I picked him up on the street outside the bus terminal and brought him up to my cube.  Yeah, I know what it sounds like but it’s not what you think.  This dude is made out of maroon plastic and he’s three inches tall.  He’s wearing a floor length gown, a pink scarf that covers his lower face, a peaked maroon hat and a big round gold medallion on a gold chain around his neck.  His beady yellow eyes glare at me from a black face, and his pointy blue ears stick up through the brim of his hat.  His three-fingered hands are blue too, and his right arm is hinged so he can lift a big gold club over his head - the club has a knurled grip and a rounded, flattened distal portion with vague runes on it.  A knob protrudes from his left hip, wherewith one (that is, I) can wind him up and make him scurry spasmodically around on my desktop.  He’s copyright 2003 by Mattel Inc for McDonalds, and was manufactured in China.

I like my new friend.  He makes me feel tall, graceful and well-dressed.  But here’s my question: what the hell IS he?