Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Long Live the Spider King

Remonstrations to the contrary notwithstanding, the impossible has happened.  I thought it never could, but then it did.  And then it happened again.  And again and again and again.  On the night of March 26, 2006, it happened for the fifth time.  Now I finally feel as if I can tell you about it. 

The first two or three times were each momentous events, and left me shaken to my core.  The fourth time still left me powerfully flushed with excitement and pride, but a degree of familiarity, of ownership if you will, was also creeping into my experience. 

And now, most lately, when I stood (or, technically, sat) at the cusp of my fifth victory, clearing my third stack with two deals yet to go and realizing that vindication was mine to earn or spurn, my pulse did not race and my extremities didn’t tingle.  Rather, I was suffused with a quiet confidence, a power that shone through my skin.  I was invincible, yes, but I didn’t need to make some kind of big thing about it. 

I mean, sure, I’ve won five games of four-suit Spider solitaire.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t still hang out with all you regular mortals anyway.  I’m cool like that. 

Good heavens, I can’t even win at two suit. You are indeed a force to be reckoned with oh Mighty one!

So where are the stats? Are we supposed to just take your word for it? As if.

I have told you several times that I want your job.  This post only magnifies that desire, but I will settle for being your assistant.  I take direction well and will never say “very unique.” I mean, Dude, hanging out at a state bar all day, playing Spider solitaire, and doling out money when you feel like it.  I’m agog with just the thought of such a gig.

I bow to you oh great Spider King. It takes me 5 tries just to win at one hand of regular solitaire.

Wow, I’m awestruck. FOUR-SUIT? Truly, I didn’t think that was winnable. How ya do that?

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