Thursday, April 24, 2008
You don’t look a day over… urm… you’re looking quite well-preserved, anyway
Well I’m glad you’ve had a restful time of it; some of us have to work for a living. However, it’s worth noting that today* marks a special anniversary. (pause for confused googling.) In addition to which, it also happens to be my birthday. (pause for irritated groans of understanding.) As is my traditional wont, I have prepared a moving self-testimonial in the form of rhyming crap to celebrate the occasion. You are welcome to search my archives and find previous such poesy - I refer you to april 03, april 04, may 05 (april was not a good month that year), april 06, and april 07. I don’t have the time to hunt down the links for you; I’ve got an army of angry mutants to subdue. But not before I share as follows:
Wait a cotton-pickin’ minute
ten pound sack with twelve pounds in it
but a man of rare accomplishment can fit a little more -
Find his digits, call his pager
wake him from an all-night rager
yes the man you want is Daniel-san, for Daniel’s 44.
He can see you crawl and cower
from his awesome perch of power
and his trophybelt’s a-dangle with the prizes he has took;
Gird your loins and say your prayers
city keys from all the mayors
get your king into the castle or he’ll play you for a rook.
With a grip of tensioned steel
squeeze the juice and smoke the peel
don’t exceed the standard dosage or you’ll surely pay the price -
Buildings shiver when he passes
melts the lenses from your glasses
fills your heart with questing hunger and your veins with boiling ice.
He’s the sober blade of justice
makes you understand what lust is
you’d be wise to leave him leeway or he’ll mow you to the ground;
Trials for your tribulation
he’s a walking celebration
of the everloving victory of fury over sound.
Half-piano, quad-eleven
he’s a little slice of heaven
he can give you what you’re wanting if you know how to implore;
Meet your favorite kind of trouble
rising raging from the rubble
forging forth to force the fortresses, for Daniel’s 44!
So go out and party on my behalf already. I have a planet to save. If you’re lucky, it’s yours!
* okay I posted this a day early. sue me. I freakin’ dare ya.
