Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Lovely Spam

Today I got 17 pieces of spam, which is far from a record.  It’s pretty average, really, for me.  But instead of deleting it all site unseen (see that’s an internet pun, very subtle I am), I actually tallied up what kind of crap I’m being asked to buy into.  Here’s a rundown of the spoiled milk flowing to me from the internet’s puckered teat today:

* Sales pitch for tech equipment (1)
* African bank scam (1)
* Weight loss (1)
* Investment opportunity (1)
* Refinancing opportunity (1)
* University diploma’s in less than one week (2, and yes, that apostrophe was in both the emails I got, must be from the University of Illiterate Wankers)
* Prescriptions for cheap (3)
* Paris Hilton and her unclad adventures on video (7)

Total = 17.  If this tally is a good indicator of what is really important in the world, I’m not paying attention to the right stuff.  And I’m wondering, there must actually be a Hilton hotel in Paris.  Their website must be completely overwhelmed.  Well, maybe they’ll get some university diploma’s out of it.  Or some Xanax.  God knows they probably need it by now.

Oh mah lord I want to attend the University of Illiterate Wankers....I could do well there!  Plus “wanker” was my absolute favorite word when I was in England!

what?  no offers to increase your manhood? why am i the sibling who gets these?

That milk thing totally grossed me out.  I couldn’t even concentrate on the rest of the post.  Ugh.

* Mona, if you can get a “Wank U.” sweatshirt, I’m putting in an order for one too.  It would even beat a Lick Wilmerding High School letter jacket.

* Evi, without divulging the family secrets, let’s just say, coals to Newcastle.  Some spam is too obviously superfluous.

* Nikita, thank you.  It seems my work here is done.

not to be shameless in my self promotion, but

http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000564.html