Friday, March 11, 2005

Moving On Out

Did you miss me?  Yesterday turned out to be one of my busiest days at work ever ever, so I guess it’s just as well the site was down - I didn’t even have time to prepare a post or any of that good stuff.  If sitelessness was ever going to happen to me, yesterday was probably the best possible day for it.  And special kudos to patricia, whose tireless efforts get this site up and keep it churning along, which is as much as I can ever say about my own self on a good day thank you very much. My friend, I am truly in your debt.  and you know what I mean. 

anyway.  in anticipation of the weekend, here’s a snarky dialogue I wish I’d had more than once: 

* So.  You like it here?

* Yes, we do.  We really do.  It feels humane.

* I ask because I’m thinking of moving out of the City.

* Oh.  You know, around here people call this “the City.”

* Oh sure.  That’s cute.  But everybody knows there’s only one city, really.

* Well everyone from New York knows that, certainly.  But anyway, I thought you loved it there.  Back in the day, it was all you ever talked about.

* I do love it. I love the city and I love my life.  I’ve got an awesome apartment 25 stories above Columbus in a great doorman building; my business is thriving - thriving!; I attend opera openings and gallery openings two, three times a week, it’s awesome....

* So why are you thinking of moving to this backwater burg?

* Aw don’t play modest, this is a nice enough town too.  But as I look around here I can see that you operate on a different currency here, and I think I’d do better with it. 

* Different currency?  Can you elaborate?

* Of course I can.  In the City - you know which one I mean - there is one, and only one, relevant currency: the coin of the realm.  It’s cash, baby.  Everything is expensive and the only way to impress anyone is by having more money than they do.

* That sounds pretty superficial.

* No, you don’t understand - it’s the opposite of superficial.  Everybody is smart and funny; everybody is talented and has talented friends; everybody looks good and reads good books and has great style.  You go to an opening or a party and you’re smart and erudite and articulate and you don’t even stand out.  You meet someone and start talking and to her you’re just another guy with an ivy degree who knows the libretto to Rigoletto by heart and volunteers with the opera gala steering committee - that stuff’s all too common, it doesn’t distinguish you from the pack.  The whole point of her conversation is just to figure out how rich you are and how much money you make.  And if you can’t impress her in this particular arena within a minute or two, she’ll just move on to somone else.  And the thing is, I’ll never be able to compete at the really high levels there.  Those guys are worth more than I’ll ever be, I don’t stand a chance against them.  And now I’m pushing 40 - I’m 40 - and I’m losing the race.  So I’m thinking it’s time I picked a different race - one where I’ve got a better chance to shine, where I’ll make a better impression.  And I’ve been out here enough times to know that I’ve got what it takes to make the impresion I want to make in this town.

* Well you seem to have it all figured out.

* I do.  I’ve considered it carefully.  Around here people seem more into confidence, coolness and personality - the interior life and the essential man, if you will.  It’s not money, it’s charisma that’s in play.  And nobody has a corner on that market.  I’m hella charismatic and I could play that game all night long with anyone.  It’s a competition I know I can win.  So I’m thinking of switching my game, out of the situation where I now have no real chance of ever winning, to here, where all I have to do is be myself and people will be blown away by me.  You don’t see any holes in my logic, do you?

* Just a little one.  I agree that money is not the primary social criterion for everybody around here.  It is for some, of course; some folk are fabulously wealthy and you’d never get the time of day from them -

* Not like in the City.

* No?  Oh well, I stand corrected.  And maybe, if you could stretch your imagination, maybe they’re not so far off your city-bred mark as you might imagine.  But those aren’t the people you’re interested in, are they?  You want to impress the people who look past the wallet and into the soul.

* Right.  Now you get it.  Right.

* So here’s my point: the kind of confidence and personality that succeed here have nothing to do with your career, or your opera tickets, or where your apartment is - it’s all about really liking yourself and being a likeable person to others as well.  You need an inner light that shines out with everything you do, a fulfilled personality that’s evident as soon as you start talking.  That’s not an easy game if you’re not used to playing it.  There is still a competition, don’t think for a second that there isn’t one - one with strong players and weaker ones.  Frankly it doesn’t sound like you even recognized that the game is on, much less its rules or standards.  And if you can’t see that the game is even on, you stand a very poor chance of success at it.  I’d recommend that you stick with the game you already understand.  At least you know where you stand that way.

* Don’t patronize me.  There is no game here, that’s why I know I’d kick everybody’s ass. 

* Once again, I stand corrected.  I guess your logic is flawless.  And I trust that you have other contacts in the area besides me?  Because as far as I’m concerned, chum, move out here and good luck - you are on your own.

I’m sorry but that guy isn’t even gonna make it to the Jr. Leagues of Inner Light. Sheesh f’in New Yorkers.

I particularly like your point, as it does come down to you who are inside and who you choose to surround yourself with.  I had a simliar experience at TCU with the “rich kids who couldn’t go to Ivy League” and though it took a while to find my niche, but it was well worth it.

Why is it that people from “the city” think everywhere else is so easy? Even in this small redneck town I live in you have to play the game. The rules are different from place to place but one thing remains constant, if you don’t know how to play you will end up looking like a fool pretty quick.

I must admit I got sucked into the game when I lived in the city once but it didn’t take me long to realize that I am not that kind of person. I prefer to observe, outside looking in if you will. I have carried that with me into small town USA and it has worked well for me so far. Know just enough to be dangerous but not so much that you get into the competition.

you actually had that conversation once?

i didn’t know new yorkers talked to anyone for that long.

;)

Ugh.  New Yorkers.  Aren’t they the people who don’t figure this shit out until they are 75 years old, surrounded in money but not a friend or companion in sight? 

I count myself lucky to have learned at a young age that there are important lessons and non-important ones.  I’m not saying I’m educated yet, but at least I know what to study.

Those who assert that the mathematical sciences say nothing of the beautiful or the good are in error. For these sciences say and prove a great deal about them; if they do not expressly mention them, but prove attributes which are their results or definitions, it is not true that they tell us nothing about them. The chief forms of beauty are order and symmetry and definiteness, which the mathematical sciences demonstrate in a special degree. by internet poker