Thursday, May 11, 2006

Pinky and the Blaine

In light of the amazing popularity it’s garnered David Blaine to suck a tube in public for a week, I hereby announce that, starting monday, I will spend seven full days - 168 of your earth-hours - entirely submerged in my own ego.  I will breath through a dank shaft and excrete through a crazy straw, but that’s SOP around here anyway.  At the end of my ordeal, I will hold my breasts for nine minutes, until I escape from my own sense of self-importance, or until I black out or start to chafe, whichever comes first.  Given that the responses to Mr. Blaine’s feat seem to range from apathy to disdain, I’m figuring chafing may have a quick onset.  I’ll have some serious technical challenges to overcome, in that I’m working with mere man-breasts, but I’ll work up to the challenge by holding other bits of myself for increasingly long periods of time, or until I get thrown out of the public library.

Finally, for once in my life, I can stop being the little castle in the fishtank, and take on the role of the helmeted diver dude.  It’s all part of my vast plan to make and use bubbles in new and exciting ways.  Well, exciting for me, anyway.  You’re on your own. 

dan, you often amuse me, sometimes frighten me; occaisionally you do both.

this time it’s just “frighten”.

Oh for god’s sake. When will all this grandstanding stop?

NO WAY!!! i’m the diver dude!!!  no fair!

Sounds more exciting than whatever David Blaine was doing.  I might give it at try.

I didn’t get into this David Blaine thing ... or any previous David Blaine thing.  In fact, when I was flipping through channels on the TV, I thought with that glance that Larry King was interviewing Prince; and I wondered why that would be happening, but then learned that this guy was in a fishbowl for a while, and I wondered if that would be the quickest way for me to get on Larry King.  But then I wondered how big the snails had to be to keep the bowl clean, and I became very frightened by the thought of giant snails ... my thoughts turned to the giant slug episode on “Night Gallery” that scared the bejeebers out of me—I clicked to the Cartoon Channel.

While the stunt itself was lame I also think people are over thinking the entire David Blaine thing too. I have heard an awful lot of comments about how he is supposed to be a magician and this wasn’t a magic trick at all. Well no duh people, it was a stunt. Many magicians throughout history have done stunts, some involved magic and others not so much. I believe that Houdini had the lock on this for awhile.

For entertainment value I give Mr. Blaine a thumbs up as he has always made me think. When I have seen his magic it has made me think about how the trick was done. Some I have never figured out while others were actually pretty simple to get. When he does his stunts they make me think also. First I wonder if the human body is capable of doing what he is intending and try to get my info for that. Then of course I wonder if maybe he might be a little bit nuts for even trying it.

Befoer any one freaks on this, no I was not comparing Blaine to Houdini. He is most definately not in that league yet. But I do believe that he has the potential to get there if he refines his stunts more and goes for things that would be more interesting to the general populace and not so darn long!

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