Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Random Baggage
Whew. Got in last night from a great vacation in suburban Maryland with the inlaws, and boy are my arms tired. Then, I forgot that I was supposed to come to work today, so I got in late and I’m behind schedule - a great way to start aught-five, eh? Hence, this’ll be a quickie, just a few things that made me giggle over the past week. Consider it a brief excursion into the depths of the Chucklemind, and don’t worry about wiping your feet - it’s too late now to try to keep things neat and clean anyway....
Healthy ideas. Diseased implementation.
Ikea. Den, I kee yo fambily.
New cross-genre television concept, for foodies who like their bling tasty: Pimp My Brunch. “We’re gonna take his soggy omlette and jack it up with purple scallions, imported bacon and cayenne flames. Change out those biscuits and bolt on a phat crumpet; then we can upgrade to spode with 15” rims and some stylin’ high-volume stemware for that gin and juice - Bet the homies’ll be freakin’ when he shows up with this hottie at the breakfast nook!”
Finally, on the flight home, I took a moment in the lav on my Delta superjet and was confused by the iconography on the underside of the toilet lid. It was clear enough that they were trying to tell me not to dispose of any of a series of depicted items down the poopchute. It was the items themselves that seemed a bit… inconsistent: they want me to refrain from flushing cups, bottles, sanitary napkins, bags, razors, or a ham. A ham? Dang, it looked like a ham.... I think they need a better warning-sign artist, or a larger toilet. That sucker’ll clog up with just a kielbasi or two; I’m keeping my ham out of the toilet even without your suggestion not to flush it. Any society where people flush hams on airplanes is a society where we all need to find a new way to get around.
It’s great to be back. Thanks for all your kind new year’s wishes, and I’ll have something more worthy of your attention tomorrow. For the meantime, keep your ham safely stowed under the seat in front of you.
