Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Search Strings
Again, a very quiet day - no comments,* on a story I must admit I consider rather over-written. Who has time for this crap on a Wednesday? Well I obviously do, but that’s my problem. No comments and it’s noon-thirty? I went and checked my stats. I like checking my stats every so often; it’s nice to see my friends and neighbors and parole officer stopping by to make sure I’m keeping out of trouble and away from schoolyards. I don’t get too many hits, less than 100 per day on average, and a good number of them are from yours truly so they don’t really count anyway.
*of course, now that I have got this little screed nearly finished, I see I have three lovely comments from three very lovely and dear friends. Thank you, each and all, for putting the lie to my whine. Goes to show you. Or me. You know what I mean.
I usually get visitors from a few places I recognize, and from a bunch of IP addresses that mean nothing to me, and from a whole passel of “unknowns” or “blocked” - and then there are always a few folk who are attracted by random internet searches. Sometimes these searches are entertaining; usually they’re not. People typically visit when they’re searching for things I’ve written about, like breakfast cereal or candy or the Transportation Security Agency. I get hit repeatedly with searches for some of the photos and images I’ve posted over the years, some of which I can sort of understand, and some of which I really don’t. (Why is the image of an x-ray of a badly broken wrist so popular? How do people keep finding that photo of the women in the lake mooning the camera?) It’s usually a pretty predictable and boring lot.
Today, however, I checked my stats and the “search refer” hits were unusually entertaining, so I thought, instead of sharing something of value with you all (such as it may be), I’d just tell you what got people interested enough to visit this site recently. By doing this, of course, I reinforce the faint but measurable attraction of the Chucklehut, thereby increasing my odds of getting the goofball public to wander in again for a peek-around. Eventually I’ll be able to post nothing but search strings that led people here, and these will be so attractive to the websurfing world at large that I’ll crash the server. Then I will be blown, bohdisattvah-like, into nirvana, just like what happened to Courtney Love. I tell ya, I’ll stop at nothing to attract readers.
The following, then, are searches that attracted people to this site between midnight last night and 12:30 GMT -8 today:
* Funny “latin phrases” underware
* (search that turned up a photo I took of a doorknob in sonoma - which seems to get a few visits every week)
* how did they come up with the name arby’s (note: dude, it’s a R-oast B-eef place, do they let you turn on the computer all by yourself?)
* meaty hunk bears
* curried pizzle
* bucaneer hotel in treasure island florida
* big overweight heavyset women in bathing suits
* (search for images of smith fracture (broken wrist) - inexplicably popular)
* funny one lines in movie greese
* (search for images of blade the ubervampire - I once posted a drawing of him fighting buffy - explicably popular)
* human race need to wallow around so voyeuristically
* (search for smith fracture image - told ya)
* kilt rental shops orange county
* (search for images of blade)
* (search for images of blade)
* (search for images of blade)
These all came in from different IP addresses. Nobody stayed for very long. All I can say is, except for people looking for the xray of a broken wrist, I am sorry to have disappointed you. Story of my freaking life. And for all those of you who are here because you typed in a weird search that turned up this post: well, now you know better. I wish I did. See you here tomorrow - even if you don’t show up.
