Tuesday, September 20, 2005

security flaw

There’s a little song I might never forget.  I learned it on the first day or so of junior high, out at the bike racks.  It goes like this: 16-34, 20!  16-34, 20!  I’ve never shared this tunelet with anyone, as far as I recall - because it was secret.  It was my combination, you see.  The combination to the MasterLock I used for my bicycle.  School lockers changed regularly enough that I didn’t retain those sequences any longer than I had to, but I used the same bike lock from the start of seventh grade till I went away to college, and every time I opened it, usually twice a day for months on end, I’d sing the combination to myself.  16-34, 20!  It was stuck in my head pretty seriously. It still is. 

Well, I recently learned the lyrics to a new song.  I didn’t have the tune in mind, but he libretto went like this: 24, 6-14! 24, 6-14! Not too catchy, I guess, without an accompanying score, but it was something to start with.  These, as it turned out, were the numbers for my new combination lock that I got for the lockers at the gym.  See, I go to the gym sometimes, and occasionally I feel the need to lock my stuff up there, okay?  Not everytime.  Net even very often.  I can usually just get home in my sweatsoaked exercise garb and avoid the whole locker room “scene,” such as it is or may be.  But sometimes I also like to shower or sauna at the gym and walk out of its broad glass doors not feeling and smelling so much like a sodden do-rag.  So sue me.  But don’t steal my stuff.  Because I locked it up, dude.  24, 6-14.  Click.

So I decided recently to check out a gym near my office, thinking that it might be a good place to get my RDA of vitamin schvitz once my life got turned upsidedown by an infantchild.  I walked in, selected a locker, got into my gear and locked my precious-s-s away, had myself a decent little workout, got all perspiry, went back to the locker room, took a shower, threw on my clothes again, and got the hell back to my desk.  Tha’s when I realized that I’d left my now unsung-locker room lock behind in that strange new locker room. And now it’s gone.

I’m very disappointed in myself.  My last lock, I kept for almost a decade of steady, hard use.  This one, I kept for less than a year and I barely used it at all.  Well, I have only myself to blame, and I guess I need to move on. 

I want to believe that if I can replace it with a lock that has a better, more danceable combination, it’ll prove to be more memorable when it really counts.  It makes no difference that I can remember the combination if I can’t remember the goddamn lock.

732-6365 - my home phone number from ages 2 - 18. Well past that now, but I remember. And what’s even scarier? 737-1006 (Nana, who lived across the street. And no, she wasn’t my Nana.) And... even scarier than both of those, I can remember NSN’s 15 digit National Stock Numbers) I have a flare for remembering series of numbers, just don’t ask me to add them up or anything.

Methinks you will be seeing a whole slew of numbers in the Comments on this post. And mine’s not gonna be any different. (C’mon—you didn’t think I’d post some scientific comment on the brain’s ability to remember innocuous details when they are no longer relevant to one’s life, or something like that, did you?!)

So—‘55-37-24’. My lock combination from Grade 6 - 13. And I still have the lock. But currently have no need to use it. It’s in the house somewhere, and there is something comforting about coming across it every seven years or so and being able to dial the dial without even thinking and feel the satisfaction of the ‘click’ when the lock has been unlocked.

And I remember birthdays, phone numbers, postal codes, etc. like my husband can’t believe. But don’t ask me about that really important, turning-point conversation we had five minutes ago, because I won’t be able to remember a bit of it.

you won’t be getting any numbers from me. between the cellphone and the planner i find i am no longer even attempting to memorize numbers. i think i’m down to [really] knowing about 8 phone numbers. addresses? birthdays? forget about it. if i didn’t memorize it about six years ago, it ain’t never gonna happen.

I used to be the family keeper of birthdays and phone numbers… lock combinations rarely stuck with me, but basically because I didn’t keep them long enough to get them ingrained. If you still have the phone number that I memorized back in middle school or high school, it’s stuck in my head. Otherwise, unless there’s a pattern for me to remember, I have to write it down and look it up everytime I need it.

Birthdays, on the other hand, usually stick with me. I might not remember to do anything about it until it’s too late, but I remember birthdays for some reason.

to this day, Jenny’s number pops up in my head at the oddest times.  867-5309.  thanks for nothing Mr Tu-tone.

what gym are you going to now?  i’ve been thinking of finding something close to the office as well.

my bike lock combination, from grade 6 to the present day : 16-24-10.  funny.  it’s like your combination’s little sister.

but i never had a song.

see, you got all the number-remembering genes. me, i could forget my locker combo over a regular weekend, and show up at school on monday unable to access my stuff.  i’d slither sheepishly into the attendance office and ask the clerk to let me see the combination card.....again. i’d end up late to first period every time. in fact, i still have occasional nightmares in which i’m at school and can’t remember the combo.  doesn’t sound so scary now, but trust me.

now i see that they’ve invented a lock that uses letters instead of numbers.  oh, if only they’d had that when i needed it!!

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