Thursday, April 17, 2003

STRICT CONSTRUCTIONISM I was heating

STRICT CONSTRUCTIONISM

I was heating up some frozen garbage for dinner and read the following instructions on the box in which my sustinance came packaged: “For food safety and quality, follow these cooking instructions.” Very comforting.  Then a few lines later I read, “Since ovens vary in temperature, these instructions are guidelines only.” Got that?  Do exactly as we tell you, but be prepared to be flexible.  If you follow instructions and ruin everything, it’s not our fault - we told you we were only giving you guidelines.  And if you adjust our instructions for the peculiarities of your own circumstances and ruin everything, it’s not our fault - we told you to follow the instructions.  Heads I win, tails you lose.  The only way to beat the house on this one is to get something else for supper but it’s too late for that now.