Wednesday, January 22, 2003

TANGIBLE RELIEF: PARTS 1 AND

TANGIBLE RELIEF: PARTS 1 AND 2

1.  I got home tired and sore to find TNT’s 7 pm L&O well under way.  I thought I’d weaned myself from this addiction a few months ago, the addiction that had made me hang on Lenny Brisco’s and Jack McCoy’s every raised eyebrow, that tied me to the television from “these are their stories” to the final wry comment and fade-to-black.  But clearly I was wrong.  The passion I felt that night for this program was undimmed, if not increased.  I planted both cheeks on the big green couch as willingly and thoughtlessly as I ever had; Kel poured me a glass of impertinent red, and I let the prosecution take over my evening.  Luckily, the show ended at 8 and I was free - except TNT backed the the next L&O right up to the prior one and I hadn’t time even to hoist one glute off the couch before those two piano notes warned me that I was again at another crime scene.  I didn’t recognize the episode and felt helpless to leave.  Eventually I escaped for 15 minutes to pick up a burger and chips (Buffalo Burger, best in SF, order to go - it’s not a place to linger) and got back for the conclusion of the trial.  Bells began to ring - I did recall this episode.  Sigh of relief.  Finally the murderer allocuted and was hied off to face his fate, and I hove a sigh, gearing up to get vertical - me and my burger and my chips (put ‘em in a paper sack and shake with adobo and cayenne - really, nothing else even comes close).  Bonk-Bonk: a third L&O was starting.  Of their own volition my legs relaxed, I sank deeper into the chenille luxury of the insidious couch, eyes trained on yet another televised crime scene.  Two charming young people entered an apartment, she telling him that she couldn’t believe he was growing pot on his balcony.  That’s all I needed to hear.  I HAD SEEN IT.  I KNEW BETTER.  The power returned to my hands and legs.  Before the unwitting characters had even discovered the body on the balcony, I had turned off the set.  It was nine pm, and the evening was finally my own.  To coin a phrase, it was a great relief. 

2.  It really made my day to see that Trader Joe’s has added some real bagels to their line.  Years ago they had great bagels; then they switched and only carried ones made of sourdough or sprouted weinerberry bread.  There’s a big difference between circular bread with a hole in the middle, and a bagel.  Sourdough and sprouted weinerberry are inimical to the essential nature of the bagel.  I had to get my bagels elsewhere, where a proper bagel was the rule, not the exception.  But those days are now behind me.  Once again I can enjoy the TJ bagel options.  One less errand to run; one more reason to shop TJ’s every week.  Needless to say, it was a great relief.