Friday, May 18, 2007

The Captain, Revealed - plus Big Weird Head

Let’s have a quickie, cuz it’s friday and I’m busy but so wonderfully full of bogus nonsense to share:

I had to get fingerprinted and go to a CORI training today.  That’s the Criminal Offender Record Information training, not the Feldman-Haim thing.  I don’t need training on the Feldman-Haim thing.  I’m as good at that as I want to be. 

While I was being fingerprinted, I asked if people sometimes don’t have fingerprints and the technician said, “sure, you had three people here today so far that had no prints.” I need to find these people.  I have jewel heists to plan, dammit. 

On the CORI documentation that they made me fill out to get access to all kinds of dirty secrets about malefactors, I was asked for various bits of personal information, which I provided.  I was also asked for my alias.  Wow, I thought: Does this mean I can sign up for one? I’ve been sadly lacking in aliasage for longer than I care to admit, so I asked if I could put down “Captain Midnight."* They told me, no; then, they belittled me.  I bet they all had great aliases and they call each other by them when they go to their little alias parties that birth-name losers like me don’t even get to hear about.  Pseudonomic bastards. 

Alias denial embitters me.  However, this cheers me right back up again:

- for those of you who like to get ahead, visit JFK drive in GG Park, where you can find this turf-sniffer.  He appeared mysteriously last weekend; the staff at the DeYoung museum down the street a few hundred yards disclaim knowledge of his provenance. However, his magnificent weirdness defies ignorance.  I dare you not to notice him!  Because, you know, he’s probably checking you out pretty carefully… I mean, look at the size of those eyeballs!

I’ll have more to share once I upload a few dozen random pictures of feathers, finish my short story (not so short any longer, really), and get my CORI clearance.  I don’t want to get ahead of myself.  After all, Cap’n Midnight is all about getting the proper clearances. 

*what, you think I’m kidding?  I’m not kidding.  The cap’n doesn’t kid about aliases.  Especially not his own.

three people with no prints in one day? that just seems highly suspicious.

i like the photo of the head, but up close and personal, i think he would scare me a little but then i’m a wuss like that.

i want a pic of a big dog lifting his leg on the giant turf-sniffer!  get to work!

That’s a cool HEAD..Where’s the rest of it’s body? Possibly cut up in pieces and thrown in a nearby water source by the people with no fingerprints?...hehee.

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.