Tuesday, June 17, 2008
THE CULINARY GENIUS OF CHUCK L. HUT - volume 2: The Hut Chuckles Back
The funny (but not in the funny way) thing about a post like that last one is, I’m not really sure what to say next. That’s the sort of speech that maybe a brash idealistic protagonist might use to exhort a throng into some kind of revolutionary uprising, or something like that. The blackness of the page after I finish reading it seems to lend a lingering tinkling echo to the words and thoughts. It was a fun essay to write (in the fun way) but once I was done it really felt done. It seemed to me that there should be some kind of formal break before the next post, if only to gratify my own conceit.
So you get this: the polar opposite of a heartfelt political screed; that’s as much of a break as I can manage. Yes, it’s a post I’ve run before, but I knew even then - yea, even then did I know it - that I’d have follow-ups. The list of such things is unending, and after the pig butchery and liquid nitrogen on Top Chef I know I can’t keep these valuable hints from you without hating myself for it every time I use them. Plus I already gave one of these away for free on the Free Advice site, though I don’t think it’s up yet. So buckle your toques, blogsters and blogstettes: it’s another episode of
THE CULINARY GENIUS OF CHUCK L. HUT
* Do you ever get those rectangular fresh-pak boxes of soup or juice or that sort of thing? I get my rice milk in one, they’re very handy and don’t take up much room in the fridge. These cartons should be shaken up before they’re used, especially the first time. Contents tend to separate, especially at room temperature, and the product will usually be more consistent and of better quality if it’s thoroughly reintegrated. I don’t think this is special kitchen genius, it’s just basic kitchen genius. I take no credit for such tactics - they are usually printed brazenly on the package itself. “Shake well before using.” It sounds so easy. But there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, and I am here to share the right way: Open the package first, before shaking it. Let some air in; let the sides swell out a little. Then close it again if you can, or just put your thumb over the opening if you can’t, and give it a decent shaking. It’ll blend up much more easily and quickly.
* I use frozen fruits and veggies, for which I owe no apology. Freezer produce can be great: producers pick very high quality products, have great quality control, and the produce is frozen at maximum ripeness. The first dose out of the bag is always a great ingredient. The problem comes from keeping an opened bag in the freezer - it gets freezerburn that renders the product unpalatable and ruins its value fills your cooking with fetid liquids and dessicated, mealy vegetables or wizened, sour fruit. That’s not worth the convenience. You need a better way to keep frozen veggies and fruits useful. I therefore propose as follows: make the smallest hole you reasonably can, at a corner of the bag - use scissors, don’t just tear it off. Put the bag away again immediately after each use. Before you seal it, press your mouth against the opening in the bag and suck out as much air as you can. That’s where the water vapor lingers, and it all forms into ice. Evacuate that space and eliminate the problem. Keep it eliminated by carefully removing any space where air might seep in later: close the bag by folding it over and over in flat flaps down from the corner you cut off, and then clip it with an alligator or bulldog clip - something metal (that shrinks in the cold) with a tight grip. I think you’ll be pleased with the results. I mean, let’s not get away with ourselves. This is frozen peas we’re talking about.
* A PLEA FOR GENIUS: Just a quiet word to the good people who take care of the common carafe in the coffee rooms at your respective workplaces: I appreciate your dedication to ensuring the finest possible coffee experience for yourself and your workmates. Not everyone exhibits such selflessness and I commend you for it. I would just, respectfully, offer to you this consideration: To the extent that you use a surfactant detergent to clean out the inside of the coffee carafe, I personally endorse the practice of making sure to rinse out all the soap before refilling the carafe with coffee. I am learning now notice it before I get suckered into drinking it, by the presence of delicate multi-colored bubbles on the surface of my coffee. It is a really sour way to start a day, and it’s something we have to power to prevent. We share a common goal, thou carafe-cleaning friend, and I want to help us both reach it together. Just a few minutes more on the rinse cycle, and we can defeat the forces of.... delicate multi-colored bubbles. Because sometimes evil lurks in disarming guise.
As for which, thank you for your attention, such as it is. This has been Kitchen Genius. Utilize it.
