Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Clay is for Dice, not Dreydls

I’m still conflicted about talking about Korea until I can deal with the photos - either knowing they’re gone or showing you the wonders of the Mr Wow shop or the Abe Lincoln graffiti or the nicest urinal view I dare imagine.  I’m hesitant even to tell you about the multifunctional personal cleansing unit that has replaced the lowly terlet.  I just can’t bring myself to do it.  Not yet.  Soon, but not yet. 

However, I can say without equivocation that it IS chanukah and as part of the associated festivities we’ve had a few rousing rounds of dreydl at the ol’ homestead.  We pulled out the Jewish Catalog to check the official rules (unchanged, I’m glad to say, from my youth amidst the sages of yavneh) and broke out a handful of dreidlot or dreidlim or however you yiddishize multiples of a dreydl, and anyway we put on Julie Silver’s version of The Dreydl Song and rocked on out to it.  I don’t love The Dreydl Song so much, with all the repetitiveness and redundancy and also the saying things over and over again (and again), but Julie does a great version with some wicked slide guitar - sort of like what Stevie Ray did with Mary Had a Little Lamb, but, you know, with dreydls.  And that got me thinking.

I am not going to maroon myself on the literary shoals of trying to write Mary Had a Little Dreydl; that’s been the bete noir of too many great writers, from Chaucer right through William of Nassington.  Rather, I wondered, as I inexplicably have never wondered before: clay?  Who makes dreydls out of clay?  And it was with this dawning awareness that I was inspired to expound:

THE DREYDL SONG, FOR THE HOME CRAFTSMAN

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
don’t make it out of clay
that crumbles into pieces
and you’ll just throw it away

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
try making it of wood
if you’re a careful carver
then the spinning should be good

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
consider one of plastic
it’s nigh indestructable
so your savings will be drastic

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
all made out of meringue
although kosher for pesach
it does not spin worth a dang

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
you might try one of glass
but be careful not to drop it
lest it shatter on your ass

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
don’t use depleted uranium
it penetrates an Abrams
but it melts right through your cranium

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
have you tried vitreous china?
It’s smooth and takes the pressure
(I’m not sure how to complete this one)

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
don’t make it out of cheddar
I’d recommend a harder cheese
asiago would be better

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
I once made one of platinum
I had to weld the tops down
to discourage those who shatinum

Dreydl, dreydl, dreydl
(repeat until insensate)

You all did very well.  Rehearsals begin at 8:15.  Bring a teething biscuit for the conductor.