Tuesday, September 17, 2002

CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY FOR FUN AND

CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY FOR FUN AND PROFIT

my inlaws are partly polish in ancestry, and they have some old-world traditions that range from the morbid and moribund, to the cool and fun.  the $ dance is cool and fun.  at weddings, upon the loud and masochistically repetitive sound of a particularly cheerful polka, the bride is brought out and the fembot of honor sells off dances with her.  the bride wears a hankerchief ovewr her head and everybody - menfolks and womens alike - lines up for a short dance.  you toss money - a bill folded small - into a bubushke that the honor guard is carrying, and then you get a few moments to dance as hard and wild as you can with the bride.  people show off with the cossack kicks and disco boogie and all that.  (dont forgrt, we’re all sooper white too.) after your dance, you join hands and continue to dance around the bride, slowly building up into an impenetrable gauntlet.  after the last paid dance, the groom has to force his way in to rescue his bride.

one of kel’s sisters married a special forces guy - tall, wiry, capable, extremely tough and confident.  several of his army buddies came to the wedding, all pretty tough themselves.  The captain also attended.  he was a kinda little guy, quick features, not a lot of hair.  i was next to him after the paid dances and he was dancing around cheerfully (he’d already scored his dance floor smash with a raunchy dirty dance with his very very lovely wife).  i asked if he knew about what happened next; he didn’t so i told him.  He grew about 18 inches taller, seized me to his side with an iron grip, and created of himself a bulwark.  he singlehandedly stopped pj at least three times, from anywhere and everywhere in the ring.  it showed me how he’d earned pj’s respect.

at a recent inlaw wedding, a family friend taught me that you should tie very tight knots in the money.  dont just crumple it - roll it into a rope, start a square knot, and then soak it in water to get a really tight knot when you cinch it down.  brutal.  its so the bride and groom have something to do on their honeymoon.