Friday, December 05, 2003

Don’t Touch that Bile!

The good news: I now have a bunch more television stations.

The bad news: I now have a bunch more crappy television stations.  I’m agog at how lame something can be and still make it to prime time.  In fact, there appear to be entire networks now broadcasting 24/7 that have absolutely nothing of value to offer to me as a consumer of television.  Here is the list I have compiled so far of stations, networks, and outlets to which I now have access but to which I will never willingly return as a viewer:

* SCN - Sad Child Network
* CBC - Celebrity Bathroom Channel
* SCS - Screaming Chinese Station
* LTN - Laugh Track Network
* UDC - Ugly Dancers Channel
* IDC - Incompetent Decorating Channel
* BSS - Boring Sports Station
* CAA - Carniverous Action Network
* CCC- Cheap Crap Channel

Actually that last one covers a lot of ground.  At least with this infusion of drek in my life, I’m doing more reading and writing.  If I had TiVo, wouldn’t a bunch of really good programming suddenly appear?  Like on the Interesting Documentary Network or the Nubile Masseusse Station?  That must be what God gets to watch when God watches tv....