Thursday, February 27, 2003

I know you’re all wondering

I know you’re all wondering how the bargaining and mediation went yesterday.  It went poorly.  We’ve done yeoman’s work, all of us, and it’s been thrown back in our faces with such disdain that it’s hard to stay positive about what we’ve accomplished.  Which, on behalf of the workforce here, is basically squat.  Every time we ask to go into caucus, management seems to think it means we want it in the back door.  (Pause for rim shot.  On the drums.) At one point, the management negotiator (who’d just reaffirmed that their offer was nothing at all for three years, and all the sand we can pound) started intimating that some of the ancillary technical issues we’d already tentatively agreed on might not be in their “last, best, final” offer.  The matronly and commanding mediator fixed him with a steely gaze and warned him, “I hope you’re not planning on pissing backwards.” He grinned and shook his head.  I gritted my teeth.  We may have to go on strike.  At least I got some nice trips to LA and a free frequent flyer’s ticket on Southwest, the airline that used to have a sense of humor before they realized they were industry leaders. 

My computer’s internet connection shuts down in five minutes.  I declare my workday done.  Time for a beer.