Wednesday, April 02, 2003

In case I had forgotten,

In case I had forgotten, my class in Intermediate Access yesterday re-taught me some important things about the underappreciated guides to my modern world. 

* Computer specialists have some challenges using expressive language.  They’ve got acronyms and phrases and buzzwords in dizzying profundity but if you’re discussing something for which there is no handly TLA (three letter acronym) or shorthand handle, they can get bogged down.  When the instructor advised us that building a database is a lot like “carving up a dead animal” I hit one of these expressive cul-de-sacs.  Okay, maybe database design is like butchery.  Maybe it’s not.  The thing is, I don’t want to think about it either way.  It’s just too grotesque an image first thing in the morning.  For some of us, anyway.  Next time, serve drinks if you plan to talk like this.

* Computer specialists may be so clever you can’t tell if they have a sense of humor or not.  Apparently, the new command in Excel and Access for “current date” is “control colon.” I heard this and was instantly in the throes of Inappropriate Giggles.  I supposed I was the only one who got it, but maybe I’m the only one immature enough to think it’s funny - if you can’t control your colon, you probably aren’t dating much anyway.  User hint: lay off the olestra for a couple of hours before the big night.  Remember, garbage in, garbage out.