Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Last Word from the Foam Foot

Tonight’s the last of my three voice-acting seminars.  Parts one and two were a lot of fun, I hope that I get a chance to do more of this kind of work at some point.  But for tonight, we got a special assignment: we were to bring to class, in an opaque bag, something that might be found discarded - on a trashcan or at the gutter - anything that is headed for the dump.  We also were to write a 30 to 60 second monologue for that item in which the item exhorts the listener to rescue it from the traditional fate of refuse. 

I selected an item that I actually found on the street and brought home with me a few years ago - a foam-rubber foot, basically anatomically correct (so far as those things go).  And, since I have a bunch of other stuff to deal with this morning, here’s the Last Word from the Foam Foot:

Hey Twinkletoes!  Yeah, you!  Where ya high-stepping so fast?  Hold up a second, will ya?  I’ve got something for ya.  ME!  Can ya believe the luck?  There I was, just doing my bit to toe the line, and some heel kicks me to the curb.  Well, I’ve been around the block, I know life’s not fair sometimes - but his loss is your gain, buddy!  If you’re twelve inches short of a yard, I’m exactly what you need!  Stub your toe?  I’ve got five spares!  I’ll walk the walk while you talk the talk.  And if ya say the wrong thing, I fit right in your mouth and you won’t lose a step!  I understand you.  I can walk a mile in your shoes.  Give me a leg up and I’ll stand by you through thick and thin.  You can’t buy that kind of friendship.  But you can get it for free if you just pick me up.  So whaddaya say, ol’ buddy?  Take me with ya and you’ll never regret it.  Don’t leave me here.  Can’t you feel it?  We’re solemates!