Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Life doesn’t just give you lemons.  You gotta take them.

wow, my listmaking abilities seem to have finally found an outlet.  obviously I’m setting the world on fire with this stuff.  that’s why I can’t stop the magic - the lists are just making themselves and I’m only the conduit.  given this fact, I am obliged to present to you another list:

OTHER THINGS TO DO BESIDES MAKING LEMONADE WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS

* Make lemon bombs.
* Make lemon schnapps.
* Hide behind a bush and huck lemons at garbage cans and pedestrians.
* Make an army of super-powerful mutant lemons to bring your evil avaricious fantasies to nightmarish reality.
* Wait for life to give you some nice meringue.
* Just whack them with a baseball bat right there in your living room.
* Feed them to zoo animals, who always need more citrus in their diets.
* Give each lemon a name and dress them all up in little outfits.
* Just leave them in a sack and forget about them till most of them have that gross grey mold all over them.
* Sit back and enjoy that fresh “just disinfected” scent.
* Sell your lemons for a profit in a relatively lemon-poor market.
* Try eating a goddamn lemon for once in your life.