Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Major Announcement

I read on the wire services that Lance Bass (of erstwhile N’Sync fame) has announced that he’s gay.  Of course, his revelation is hardly unexpected - hell, his name is just one letter away from being a command to pierce butt.  However, in the wake of Lance’s big news, several other announcements have been forthcoming and I’m a-gonna make sure they get the attention they deserve:

* Generalissimo Francisco Franco Announces that He’s Still Dead
* Frosted Flakes Announce that They’re Great
* Planet Uranus Announces that It’s Mostly Gas
* Turmoil Announces New Address: The Middle East
* Proud Mary Announces that She Keeps On Burnin’
* Enjoyer of Gumballs Thanks Mickey
* President Bush Announces that He’s Firmly in Command

Here’s hoping your news is pre-digested for you all week long.