Monday, May 03, 2004

OCULAR ISSUES

* There’s some damn muscle above my eyeball that’s twitching like that time we hooked little Timmy Thomson up to that wall socket. It was sort of moderately entertaining at first, something new to think about during a meeting, but now it’s just irritating.  So hear me now and hear me well: the twitch has got to go. At once.  I have spoken.  Dammit.  (Update: still twitching.  I don’t think Timmy lasted this long.)

* I’m not a big student of the delicate art of facial hygiene, but I think I need to shave my eyebrows, or trim them, or something.  If I glance up without moving my head, the ceiling looks hairy.  I admit, there are times when the ceiling has been hairy, and other times when I thought it looked hairy but for a different reason - but this time I’m pretty sure it’s an eyebrow issue.  The next stage is likely to be spontaneous brow macrame, and nobody wants to see that.

* Dr. Andy gave me his prescription swim and snorkle goggles!  He and I look so much alike that folk often assume we’re related, but it’s not just a superficial thing - we’re alike down to our optical prescription, except for different astigmatisms, but those mostly clear up under water anyway.  Andy got keratotomy and doesn’t need prescription lenses anymore, and we’re going to hawaii together in a few months so I could really use the equipment.  Ergo, I’m completely psyched.  Now I have about three months to get my 12-year-old sunglasses replaced.  Finally it’s time for my polarizing influence on world events to start working in my favor.