Friday, February 16, 2007

o no i di’n’t

Oh man it just is not stopping.  I had to stand on the bus today so I couldn’t work on my short story, I didn’t get up early enough to set up links for my movies post, and I don’t want to bother with my dude-at-party essay.  Today I’ve got three big jobs to do before the orientation meeting at noon and so far I’ve gotten to half of one of them.  Yet I am typing up a tiny postlet for you because failing to do so would be fatally distracting for me all day long. 

So, here’s what you’re gonna get: three (3) (III) tiny little stupid things I should not have said at work, either because I said them to the wrong person or because they were just not appropriate for my uptight office environment.  By setting them free here, I hope to dilute my sense of guilt associated with having given them inappropriate voice when they could have been sequestered till a better opportunity arose, or allowed to atrophy entirely in the fatty tissues of what I call my brains.  And thus:

Regarding the plethora of materials we’ve been getting that don’t demonstrate very much thought or attention: “They’re coming out of the weirdwork.”

Regarding home improvement projects, to my supervisor: “I’m not so much a stud as a load-bearing shaft.”

Regarding our admin assistant’s complaint that her “poppycock” (popcorn and nuts in a caramel-toffee matrix) was very short on cashews: “So you’re telling me you’ve got a sack of nutless ‘cock?”

Here’s some wise words from a dear friend, about bacon - make sure you get to the poem.  Enjoy your weekend.  Mine cannot start soon enough.