Thursday, October 23, 2003

Private Inquiries

So, you’re on public transportation, facing in (not forward, as regular hutters might have already guessed).  Across from you sits an attractive young woman, stylishly dressed with a short skirt and sassy shoes, who is totally engrossed in the book she’s reading.  You glance up to her every so often and her eyes are locked to the pages, which she turns with the hunger of the famished at supper.  She sat demurely when she took her seat, but as her attention locks more intensely on her reading, you notice that her knees have slowly drifted apart, well beyond the limits of modesty.  You can see both England and France. 
1) Should you (I) look?
2) Should I (you) say anything to her?

This inquiry reminds me that I tried to send an email to a good friend a few days ago.  Having not heard back from him, I asked his wife, also a good friend, if I had his address correctly.  She wrote back promptly to confirm that the address I was using was in fact correct, but that he was really just using his work email lately - I should try that one, and she attached it for my convenience.  This friend has a name that is neither utterly common nor particularly unusual - he shares a surname with a famous city.  His company uses a common convention for creating email addresses - first initial, last name, at (company).com.  When his wife sent his address, her computer spell-checked it and offered an alternative; she accepted it unthinkingly.  I had to write back and confirm, was I really supposed to be sending him a note to condom@(company).com? 

She replied with the corrected version.  I have learned a valuable lesson: sometimes it’s good to have a last name that no computer can even hope to mistake for anything sexual, medical, or any combination of the two.  Unless “ass panic” becomes an accepted DSM-4 diagnosis, I guess....