Saturday, December 24, 2005

Random Holiday Merrymaking

Ho-ho-ho!  E-e-e-rev Chanukah!** I’ve been scouring the alleys and under the cushions of my sofa for a lovely gift for y’all, but all I found were some old cheerios and frankly I already et’em.  So instead of shining you on with nothing, here are a handful of tidbits that remind me, in a roundabout way, of you folks - disparate and unconnected, arising unbidden and unexpected in the course of my daily journeys, but never failing to bring joy to my heart or an inappropriate snigger to my lips.  Thank you, internet people, for enhancing a delightful year that has been too filled with blessings for me to measure them, and for helping me through a year of challenges and losses that were manageable so often because you let me share them with you.  Your friendship and support are priceless to me.  And that’s why you get this cheap-jack gift: notebook gleanings!  These are the dribs and drabs of ideas and comments that I wrote down and never figured out what else to do with.  Don’t read them all in one place.

* Actual sign at the Academy of Science’s temporary aquarium: “INDO-PACIFIC LIONFISH: A legend will soon explain how they are venomous.” Actual animal housed therein: “Encrusting Gorgonian.“

* “It’s no big deal.  It’s like the miracle of life: any jerkoff can manage it if you aim him properly.”

* Sign seen in nutritional supplement shop window: “Women’s Health Special: For You, Free Bag.” Yeah, you old freebag, this one’s for you.  Pretty special, eh?

* Sign seen in restaurant window: “Help Wanted.  Experience Waitress.” Yeah, get a job here and see what our waitress learned during her brothelmongering days.  Tips included.

* Query: Why didn’t anyone at the big Commission meeting eat any of the chocolate-covered strawberries?  Was it because they were in a bag that identified them as Keoki’s Surfin’ Ass Dingleberries? 

* LiveArchive.org.  For all your free live music needs.  Thank me with cds.

* You wanna do a little job for us?  Sign up anonomously with Mobster.com.  We’ll make you an employment offer you can’t refuse. 

* I didn’t want to belive that it was Mt. McKinley.  I guess I was just in Denali. 

* New business in the neighborhood: Dong Dong Preschool - to bring out your little dong’s full potential. 

* I’m telepathetic - able to be lame at great distances.  Similarly, I’m the guy who puts the “random” in “memorandom”

* Engrish, from the Haechandle Company: “Haechandle mean by utility.  Haechandle mean by honesty.  Haechandle with made by good people.” This is their corporate motto; I was led to seek it out by a comment printed on one of their boxes that I saw lying on the ground at my bus stop: “The reliable food of Haechandle.  The good-natured make it.”

I hope all you good-natured people get to make it this festive season.  Meantime, here’s some cute photos to get you started. 

bench made of ancient monestary stones, in GG park:

From the De Young sculpture garden:

From the De Young tower elevator lobby:

From the De Young sculpture garden’s hidden meditation chamber:

Views of the De Young roof from the tower:

View of Kel and Zach in the De Young tower:

Me and Zach on the monestary stone bench:

Zach discovers the miracle of xmas:

That’s all for now.  Time to open some presents for the munchkin.  Have a happy happy, and don’t drink and blog! 

** “Erev” means “evening of/before”, and is the beginning of any jewish holiday.  But you knew that already.