Monday, January 05, 2004

Scotch Guard for Weirdos

To keep the dog off the furniture, we scared him - about 12 years ago.  We put some pennies in a soda can and when he hopped on the couch we shook it at him.  He freaked and now avoids soda cans on furniture with a seriousness I reserve for the “seafood surprise.” Over the years we’ve put together a particularly strange collection of cans for the three pieces of furniture we want to keep dog-free: the green couch, the brown couch, and Zerline’s club chair.  These are all significant and personable hunks of upholstery, and deserve better than an old diet coke or generic lime soda can.  So our current stock of “anti-dog cans” is as follows:

Vilac Shikhye Rice Punch (shake before serving)
Coco Palm Grape Juice Drink (Muscat)
“New" Sac Sac Orange

Frankly, I’m starting to get a little worried about sitting on those sofas myself.  That’s some damn weird beverage cans huddling out there.  I’m just going to hunker down over here in the back of the house with my nice normal rice milk and hope they don’t notice me.  The dog, once again, seems to have the right idea.