Thursday, May 10, 2007

Shout Out From Incoherentopolis

Okay I know I promised some photos but nobody is going to hold me to that.  It’s nice to have one bailiwick here where I can be totally unaccountable.  Bwahahahaha, as they say.  And mom’s coming to visit as of tomorrow for the weekend, so god knows when I’ll have the time to sit down and massage my lovely exposures of Mendotown, Little River, Philo, Booneville, and the surprisingly charming Ft Bragg.  Result: no photo for you.  Yet. 

Solution, for a Thursday where I’m not getting much traction on my morning: some random cogitations!  Who doesn’t love those! 

Now that most of you have left the room, the rest of us (me and that lurker who found this site while searching for “butts and nunchucks”) can enjoy this short list of items I considered sufficiently noteworthy to annotate, though none of them really are:

* The deli where I often get my lunch (when I don’t bring it from home) now stocks both cream soda (in 20 oz bottles only) and funyuns (in “seven-serving” bags).  My response: this cannot end well. 

* From “Design Ideas” in the May ‘07 Met Home: “Stonefeel: a highly resistant mineral resin that was specially designed to retain bathwater temperature.” My response: thank god they’ve finally beaten that one.  That just leaves cold fusion, cancer, and – oh yeah, world peace.  But with properly heat-retentive bathwater receptacles (in a variety of designer colors and finishes), we are that much closer to those as well.

* World’s lamest motto, from Pasquale’s Pizzeria on Sloat down near the zoo: “You’ve tried them all.  Now try ours....” My response: it would be weak if they just limited themselves to putting themselves at the non-illustrious end of an inveterate pizza-scarfer’s “life list.” They know you’ve avoided them till now, and they don’t even imply that theirs will be distinguished from “them all” – every other pizza you’ve tried before resorting to theirs.  The words are self-deprecatory, as no motto should be.  But that ellipsis at the end, where they trail off into a shamefaced silence, their words just failing them… like that: it takes what was merely weak, and rips the spine right out of it.  They just can’t think of a single thing to tell you that would convince you to sample their rancid wares.  Makes you kind of want pizza, doesn’t it?  Right?  Right....

* Z gets a little bi-monthly rag called “Wild Baby Animals” or something like that.  It’s mainly full of wild baby animals, curiously enough - about 16 thick-stock little pages of photos and drawings and simple games.  On the back cover of the current issue, there’s a few more photos and a big letter “N” with a legend that reminds kids what “N” stands for: (pause while you think of animals with names that start with “N”, like nubuck and naugahyde and noodlefish).... NUMBAT.  Yes, N is for Numbat, according to Wild Animal Babies Magazine (soon to be a major motion picture).  My comment: N is for a lot of weird things, it seems.  But not narwhal, apparently.  Now that’s a darn shame.  Kids just aren’t getting their RDA of spiral-horned cetaceans these days.  I expected Wild Baby Animals to step up to the plate on this one.  Looks like I expected wrong.  Once again, parenting is left to the parents.  I don’t know how I feel about that.

Wow, I’m feeling a lot more productive now!  Thanks, internet!  See ya later!