Tuesday, August 23, 2005

SkyMall Quiz: Eight Flavors of Crazy Crap

I dropped my mom off at the airport this morning, which puts me in mind to offer this little quiz: when I went to visit her in florida a month or so ago, I checked out SkyMall magazine and found some damn weird crap for sale.  Your challenge: which of the following actually are for sale on airplanes, and which exist only in the poisoned precincts of my twisted mind? 

* Fetchers - Dog Shoes to the Stars
* Pool/Hottub Media Sheath to keep newspapers or magazines dry and readable
* Preformed Artificial Recycled Auto-Tire Mulch Garden Borders
* Combination Periodontal Lip Exercise Tool and Tooth Whitener
* Personalized Branding Iron for backyard grilling (or, presumably, home bondage fantasies)
* Home Piercing Kit with lobe, navel, nipple, and reproductive zone attachments (tongue not included)
* Easter Island Moai Head Tissue Dispenser
* The Automojito

Press your “esc” key if you need a flight attendant to assist you.  If you’re sitting with a child, do your own quiz first, and then assist the child.  Please be careful when opening comments, as contents may have shifted during transit.  This quiz can be used as a flotation device.  Happy landings.