Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Time to Redecorate

It’s an incremental process, but it looks like the “office” is completely painted now, and all that remains is the master bedroom, the long hallway, and the living room and dining rooms.  It’s always like pulling teeth with my landlady to get permission to do stuff around the flat; she’s equally cheap and paranoid, which is a most restrictive combination indeed.  We have to ask her permission each time we want to paint a new room, and now that we finally finished the last one, I’m gearing up for the next request.  I got tired of the same old reason, though - that we want to “freshen the place up.” It’s true, but it’s so weak.  I started making a list of the real reasons we want to paint, and then I started adding in the reasons I’d like to give her just to see whether she demands to install surveillance cameras:

* Not painted in at least fifteen years
* Last painted with world’s ugliest shade of beige
* Centrifuge mishap
* Food fight
* Unfortunate lesson in poultry farming
* Combination of wall-mounted cuspidors and bad aim
* Projectile emesis party
* Habitually drink only warm soda from well-shaken cans
* Conclusion of smelting operations
* A visit from the Vaseline King

I tell you, this guy’s too slick for his own good.