Wednesday, July 31, 2002

When I get off the

When I get off the bus on my way to work I walk through an area where I don’t like to linger.  I take the shortest route and I take it quickly.  There’s a big advertising kiosk surrounded by newsstands, and I’d have to walk out of my way to get around them - but there’s a small gap right before the kiosk, just big enough for someone to squeeze through, and I squeeze through it more days than not, saving precious steps and seconds.  The ad on the kiosk currently is for some kind of vodka-affiliated malt beverage that I can’t imagine ever buying for any reason.  It features two women in sunglasses and silver bikini tops (shown from the elbow up only), holding refreshing blue bottles of maltka near their pendulous breasts, each lubriciously ogling the other’s - bottle.... it fills me with a sense of refreshment....  the thing is this ad is fifteen feet tall and four feet wide and I walk right right up to it.  At one point my visual field contains nothing but four huge breasts.  Then, as I prepare to make my quick move around the newsstands and save my pathetic seven seconds of time I could be wasting doing this at work, I see only one enormous silver-clad boobie, much larger than my head, hovering right at eye level, inches from my face.  It’s all I can do to keep from biting it as I scoot past.  IT IS AN IMAGE THAT IS SEARED INTO MY HEAD.  Thanks, guys.