Thursday, May 21, 2009

Where It’s a Beautiful Day

In keeping with last post’s theme, let’s have a bit of a visit around the ol’ neighborhood.

We can start with the new traffic lights.  All up and down Highway 1, which AS YOU KNOW is right outside my front door, they’ve replaced the traffic lights - again.  A few years ago they put in LED lights in place of old incandescent bulbs; now they’ve just finished replacing all the acutal traffic light posts (or “standards") and these ones have what I can only call super-ultra LED lights.  Maybe they’re supposed to be easier to see in the fog, which occasionally occurs hereabouts; maybe they’re supposed to get the attention of the kind of drivers who plowed into Kel last month and who continue to plow into each other nearly every day along our local roads.  Whatever the reason, these suckers are bright.  So bright, in fact, that they no longer mean exactly what the regular traffic lights meant.  As a public service I hereby indicate what the old colors said (which is well known to you already, I suspect) and their new meaning when amplified by seven billion candlefeet or photrons or however you measure light:

Red: old - stop.  new - STOP GODDAMN IT
Green: old - go.  new - GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE ALREADY
Yellow: old - caution.  new - YOU CRAZY BASTARD WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING

Relaxing additions to the locality, they’re not.  But if they keep down the number of tow truck/ambulance visits, it’ll be worth it.

Rounding out our little tour, some cellphone photos:

Seen after dropping Zach off a school recently, across the street from his alma mater:

(and for what it’s worth, this is a bird that easily stood four feet tall but I couldn’t get very close and who the hell has a zoom lens on their camera phone?)

Seen on Howard Street near my workplace this week:

(query: where did he take it?)

That’s all for now.  Quell your tears.  I’m sure I’ll have something else equally momentous eventually. 

new musics: Budos Band, Fountains of Wayne, and Dengue Fever.  Having trouble thinking of much else, actually!